Feast

I recently spent a bit of time looking into the feast for 5000 men as found in the four gospels. It reminded me of a few years back, something I'd begun to write while looking at the account in John.

Here is what I've written:
Imagine that you are an invited guest for a dinner. You enter the host's home, a comfortable one but not ostentatious. There are about 30 people, young and old milling about in conversation. Finally the host invites everyone to come into the family room/kitchen.... a great room designed for easy living. There is an island in the kitchen and there is the "spread" of food. A small roast beef has been sliced into perhaps 10 or 12 slices, a bowl of mashed potatoes matching in size to the roast, a gravy boat with rich brown gravy accompanies the potatoes, a bowl of green beans with a pat of butter melting over the beans and a basket with perhaps a half dozen dinner rolls peek out from under a red cloth; enough for a family of four or five.

One glance at everyone else's eyes confirms what you are thinking; this guy did not plan well, there is not enough food and everyone is hungry. The host bows his head and begins to pray but all you can think of is how do you gracefully get out of this situation, how do you help maintain this man's dignity by acting like you really aren't hungry. You think of the Taco Bell you passed six miles back and hope the drive-thru window stays open late. Suddenly your thoughts are interrupted by the end of the host's prayer, "....and thank you Heavenly Father for your bounteous gift of food that we are about to partake of. Amen". And then he adds, "Dig in everyone, take all you want." You want to laugh out loud because to your eyes a bite or two of meat, tablespoon of potatoes, five green beans, a meager drizzle of gravy and a shared roll with five other guests is all each will receive this night and you can only hear your hunger.

Suddenly a young boy of 8 or 10 says, "Well, what are we waiting for, I'm hungry". He takes a plate, forks three slices of meat onto his plate, adds two very large dollops of potatoes, a heaping pile of green beans (you're thinking here "What boy eats green beans without cajoling by a dutiful mother), pours gravy over everything and adds an entire roll atop the plate. His innocent hunger has driven him to not understand he must mentally divide out what is before him by the number of diners and take only that portion. All eyes watch the boy carefully find a place at a nearby table, generously butter the roll and scoop a big bite of gravied mashed potatoes into his mouth.

"What do we do now" you think as your eyes turn back to the woeful spread that has been depleted ungraciously by the boy. You decide to follow his lead but will set a more moderate tone. Just as you pick up your plate with the intent of slicing off a meager bite of beef your eyes are opened and suddenly there is more than you thought at the buffet. Had your eyes deceived you at first look of the buffet? How could there possibly be more food when a moment before there was so little. You look around and see that you are the only one who sees this. For some reason you are seeing something others can't see. You follow the boy’s faithful lead and fill your plate with a tiny giggle playing on the corner of your mind. There really is more at this feast than first believed. You just needed to enter into the meal to see it.

I think it was a little bit like that for those folks that day. There was no reason for them to believe there would be enough food for all but they took what they wanted nonetheless, they entered in with the eyes of faith they needed because they were driven by hunger. Unfortunately when the hunger was abated and they were back in Capernaum, they no longer could hear or see the feast that was before them in the person of Jesus.

Humility

I recently heard some words regarding humility that have stirred up some thoughts. The idea expressed was we needed to be less to become more. It was in the context of biblical leadership from I Peter 5. While I believe true servanthood that follows the Jesus way involves "the first shall be last and the last shall be first", I believe this reflects more a model of Christ-like leadership rather than true humility. I strongly believe that leadership, at the heart, is servanthood.

Humility is not about the spotlight, or the receiving of praise. I think it is fairly obvious we can be doing the most noble, worthy action for the Kingdom but if our underlying goal is to appear righteous, to appear "less", then we've missed the mark. I am a bit concerned with the phrase because the stated goal is to become more by becoming less. It seems a bit like a type of hampster wheel that leads to nowhere. Less is more, less is more, less is more. It begins to sound like a squeak in the hampster wheel when the hampster if furiously trying to get somewhere.

I am more comfortable with a quote I came across several years ago from Phillips Brooks that describes humility: "The true way to be humble is not to stoop until you are smaller than yourself but to stand at your real height against some higher nature that will show what the real smallness of your greatness is."

I like this because it allows us to stand fully upright in all we've been created to be. Jesus said early on in Matthew 5 "You are light..... You are salt..." For us to effectively advance His Kingdom we need to operate fully as He says we are. To do less robs Him of His glory, the glory of His creation and incarnation in us.

I also like the quote because of the direct implication of standing fully against God'd fullness. By doing this we begin to see how true our smallness is and an un-manufactured humility will arise as we keep that picture in mind.

I have this quote printed underneath a meaningful picture hanging in my office at work. It is a photograph of three individuals, mere specs walking up a field with the backdrop of a huge Colorado ridge rising behind them. Those three men, one of which was me, could not walk effectively if they were trying to be small. They simply are small against the glory of God-spoken creation. No false humility is needed when one stands fully as created by God, against God Himself.