Delight

Five years ago this month, I attended my first men's retreat. I flew to Colorado by myself to gather with over 400 other men to attend a Boot Camp put on by Ransomed Heart Ministries out of Colorado Springs. High in the Rocky Mountains God spoke deeply to me. It was a life-changing weekend.

Late that Friday afternoon we all gathered to hear John Eldredge speak for the afternoon session. I was sitting with three other men I'd met about five rows up from the main floor. Early in his talk John asked the question, "Did your father delight in you?" Instantly I felt burning hot anger rise from my toes to the top of my head. I felt like I was going to explode. For a few minutes I tried to remain seated but I couldn't, I nearly ran up the shallow steps to exit right in the middle of the talk. I exploded out the entrance doors and was hit with a blast of icy air. It cooled my anger but I was left with the question, "Did Dad delight in me?"

Sadly my answer was I didn't know. Dad wasn't a mean or harsh man, he simply was removed, detached and unengaged. I never knew what he thought of me, the odd boy he'd been given. I will never know as Dad has been gone for over 11 years now.

Delight. I'd spent some time pondering that word off and on the previous year, specifically as it is used in Psalm 18. That Psalm paints a vivid picture of God's fierce anger as He rescues one He delights in. The word had bitten deeply into me and, I confess, was painful. I'd mostly gotten through the first 50 years of my life with the sense I was tolerated, not delighted in by God and others. As I pondered that word I sensed His still, small voice asking me to allow Him in, to delight in me and show me He counted me worthy to delight in.

Delight. Do you know the Father, our Abba, delights in you?

Zephaniah 3:17 says:
The Lord your God is with you, He is mighty to save. He will take great delight in you, He will quiet you with His love, He will rejoice over you with singing.

In His delight, listen for his voice, singing.