Curtain

I've been in a few earthquakes, minor temblors really. My most memorable was a couple of weeks after my daughter was born.  We were living in San Francisco at the time and I was working down town at a bank. When the building I was in began to shake, a woman screamed and dove under her desk.  It was a fairly sharp jolt.  My wife remembers she was feeding our daughter and at first felt dizzy, attributing it to her recent birth experience. She realized it was an earthquake when the building we lived in started to moan. The shaking grew to an alarming level followed by sirens rushing around the streets. Thankfully there was no damage.

It was not my first nor my last earthquake, after all, I live in California. In all the minor temblors I've experienced, there is one thing I have never seen, a torn curtain caused solely by the quake. Granted, I've never lived through a major event but I doubt a torn curtain would come as a direct result of an earthquake. Perhaps falling debris could tear a curtain but it is more likely a curtain would fall rather than tear.

We've recently celebrated Easter and there is one detail about those days I've rarely heard mentioned, the tearing of the curtain separating the Holy of Holies in the temple from top to bottom.

Imagine you are one of the priests who'd schemed to have an itinerate, backwater rabbi who'd caused you nothing but trouble handed over to Rome for crucifixtion. You are finally rid of the man who'd been making blasphemous claims about himself, shocking and scandalous claims that were a deep afront to your piety.  For some time all the ruling class of priests of which you belong had tried unsuccessfully to trap this man. Finally the deed had been done; he'd been arrested, tried and handed over to the Romans for crucifixtion where, as far as you knew, he hung outside of Jerusalem. You'd had moments of unease and doubts but Caiaphas had finally convinced you it was necessary for one man to die for the good of many.

Now you are tired, emotionally and mentally spent but relief of ridding yourself of the troublesome rabbi eludes you. You want to move on as if his life and words never existed but the evidence of his miracles offers a troubling counterpoint to your belief he was a fraud, or worse, empowered by demonic activity.

All of these thoughts swirl about you as the day turns more ominous. Darkness descends making it night time in the middle of the day. An earthquake strikes and the city is gripped by fear. Somewhere deep inside you dread arises as you realize this is no coincidence. "Surely that man is still hanging on the cross? No one dies a merciful death there and it has only been a few hours since the cross had been erected.", you think.

Word races through the priestly circles and finds your ear, the unthinkable has happened.  The palm-thick curtain separating the Holy of Holies has been rent in two, top to bottom. It's as if someone rent the curtain with their bare hands but the thickness of the veil dismisses that possibility. No earthquake alone could have produced such an event.  You are stunned and can only think of the man on the cross, the one you helped put there.

So here we are, some 2000+ years later with this oft overlooked fact in the Easter story. We understand the significance of the torn curtain eventhough the religious elite of Jesus' day did not. We are now free to enter boldly into the Holy of Holies, and while I still believe an exercise of awe, wonder and reverence are appropriate postures, there is now the possibility of relationship with God.  I also believe there is a release outward from this Holy place as well. It is an outward flow of wonder, light, joy and mystery that invites us deeper to Him.  His presence is sent outward for those seeking John 10:10 life.

Incarnational living is offered for those who will believe, love and obey the itinerate carpenter-rabbi who caused so much consternation and disruption among the religious ruling class.

But what of the curtain? I do wonder if we, in our attempt at codifying this life with Jesus into a set of rules and regulations, are not attempting to re-sew the torn curtain? How dare we attempt such a thing when the torn curtain and all it represents was accomplished at the cost of a flayed back, crown of thorns and nails in flesh! How dare we!

*$&#*$(#*$)(#)($*!

Its not been a good winter for flying. Some time ago I saw a post on Facebook written by an acquantence. Evidently he was back east for business and was trying to get home. He was stuck in some ariport and posted his frustration ending his post with "*$&#*$(#*$)(#)($*! "  As part of the human race I understand the frustration. Don't we all?

I recently read that it is in these situations where the truth about the condition of our heart breaks out. We'd like to think when we turn our lives over to Jesus that the ugliness that might come pouring forth in these situations has been swept away.  But that is not the case. It is at these times when my own frustrations have mounted and I say or do regrettable things I realize how much I need Jesus to be formed in me.

At those times of being stranded at an airport, helpless against the vagaries of weather or mechanical breakdowns that we have the opportunity to step back and invite Him deeper to those places in our hearts. Sitting here in the very early morning in my park, it is easy to write this. I will probably need to read this next time I fly the frustrating airways.

No amount of Biblical thought and correct theology will remedy our hearts unless we obey Jesus to first love Him, to invite Him deeper into intimacy with us. It is at that place where true formation occurs.

Another thought occurred as I thought of my friend's plight. He is a dad to several pre-schoolers. Much of what he posts on Facebook are snippets of conversations with his children. Stuck in the airport, he simply longed to be home with them. It made me think of our Father's longing for us, His children.

Imagine, if you will, you consider every human being that has ever walked this earth to be your child. Now imagine that you want them home with you so you can provide them everything needed for them and to be with you. But the vast majority ignore every advance you make and your complete offer of intimacy with them is rejected. In fact, most blame you for everything that goes wrong in their lives. This goes on year after year until thousands of years of rejection have piled up. Yet, you still long with an aching heart for all your children, not just some, to come home to you. That is the Father's heart for this world.

Imagine also His longing for the few who do say "Yes" to His offer only for some to go on as if nothing has happened, they simply see the offer as a ticket for the afterlife. He longs for us to move into loving Him NOW!

Imagine His heart of longing for those who construct elaborate religious systems thinking this is the way to His heart. Rules of sin management are established and attempts at following the rules are made. But all along what He wants is for us to sit and sup with Him. He stands at the door and knocks but His children are too busy keeping the rules and telling others how to run their lives that they don't hear the gentle knocking in their own hearts.

He longs for us to stop and listen to His still, small, yet powerful voice in the recesses of our hearts. Listening and obeying in the context of intimacy with a Father who adores us is what He longs for. That is a deeper thing to ponder when we are far from home, our own longing for home producing frustration in the face of uncontrollable obstacles.

Rather than "*$&#*$(#*$)(#)($*!" , perhaps it is best to ask Him, "Father, what do you want to show me?" Invite Him into the frustration and let Him heal the brokenness.