Today is Christmas Eve. My thoughts are a bit jumbled but I still want to write something here.
I have thought off and on about my own birth. There is a picture of my mother a couple of weeks before I was born. Her sister Norma and her husband Bill along with their two children have gathered at their parent's home in Nevada City. The picture shows my mom hugely ready to be done with this pregnancy, a pregnancy that was a bit of a surprise. After the birth of my older sister my folks wanted another but after some years they gave up, got rid of the baby furniture and moved on with their life. As my mother would tell it, by the time she found a doctor that would agree she was pregnant they had moved from Madera to Grass Valley and was told she would have a baby in the summer of 1953.
July 3rd, 1953, Jones Hospital was where I made my entrance, an entrance complicated by my insistence on arriving butt first that necessitated a C section for safe delivery. The hospital was an old Victorian house built in the 1860's and converted into a hospital in 1907. It presently is a bed and breakfast. My younger sister was born there in 1962, I spent several days there after breaking some bones in one of my feet and I had my tonsils out there. It was a full functioning hospital allbeit somewhat unorthodox.
So there I was this newborn with big hands and a big nose that caused my mom to giggle. Did she wonder what I was to become? Newborns always cause me to think about what the future holds for the tiny, yet complete human being. I know I had those thoughts when my two children entered, Abigail with big brown eyes taking it all in and Charlie with a full head of straight up brown hair who was ready to eat.
Much is made of another birth so long ago, a birth complicated by a suspect beginning, a census ordered by a man 1400 miles away and a tiny village unprepared for the inflow of visitors so that no decent room could be had for the birth of a baby that would change my life 2000 years later. While I was born in a huge house that was nearly 100 years old, the Son of God made his earthly appearance in a cave, a stable more suited for animals. Jesus' birth was attended by his teenage mother and a faithful man whose skills in child-birthing were probably next to nothing. Somehow it all worked out and before long the only folk interested in seeing this new-born were a bunch of ill-kept shepherds who'd received a very special invitation to viewing the baby, the messiah.
As I think about what it might have been like I am reminded of a phrase from "O Little Town of Bethlehem", The hopes and fears of all the years are met in thee tonight. These words, published in 1868, capture for me a bit of the awe and wonder that Christmas Eve holds for me. It was a tall order for that newborn laying in a stone-hewn manger but, in time, we can see He was up to the task. I can lay all my hopes and fears right there in my feeble understanding of what it might have been for Mary, Joseph and baby Jesus.
Oh but there is so much more that we can have if we just believe. It is faith that unlocks some of the secrets and mysteries this man Jesus would talk about. If we fast forward, as Scripture does, we will find words and actions of a man so unique in history that we can only bow in awe and wonder, if we believe.
So I am sitting here and thinking about the gifts I've received through believing Jesus was the Son of God. There are so many but I am reminded He told his main group of guys on the night before He died that He was One with the Father and that we are in Him and He is in us. That right there takes my breath away. This little babe was to provide a way for us to become new creatures sitting with Him, our elder brother, alongside the Father on His right side. He offers abundant life and enables us, through the giving of a new heart, the ability to listen in and hear our Father speak to us. This babe, the light of the world and the Word made flesh came to rescue us from darkness. "The people walking in darkness have seen a great light; on those living in the land of deep darkness a light has dawned" (Isaiah 9:2).
It is this light I celebrate at the close of a glorious Advent Season.
Saturday, December 24, 2016
Saturday, December 17, 2016
Advent IV
A year ago next Saturday, Christmas Eve, my father-in-law, Ken Dolan, passed into his eternal home. The next day my wife and her three sisters sat at our Christmas table stunned. There were words and we all made the best of it but it felt surreal. Something very real had occurred but we all were cushioned by disbelief from the reality he was gone. I say "cushioned" because grief has its own way of unfolding and disbelief is the first reaction, the first experience of loss that allows our hearts to haltingly prepare for the waves of pain to come.
Six days later my wife would have knee replacement surgery and her care overruled most thoughts of the loss of Dad. We were able to get her to his memorial service 10 days after her surgery but those days are such a haze now, nearly a year later.
Seven months and two days later, my mother also went home. It was the day after her 93rd birthday. After a whirlwind weekend with the addition of Monday to the weekend, we made all the confusing steps of an ER visit with my mom, finding a new care facility for her to live in with her new frailties, moving in the few things she would need and moving her out of her apartment that Monday, I received a call that Tuesday from the caregiver telling me she was gone. My mind raced with all the upcoming details as I drove home. My two kids met me at home and the three of us moved mom's things out of the room she'd only occupied since the previous Saturday afternoon.
That afternoon I sat at home alone. Dazed. I thought we would have a couple more weeks.
So here I am, wanting to write something "adventy" but memories of long ago Christmases have knocked me sideways. From my perspective, Christmas was one of two times a year when Mom was relatively happy and content so I have a small collection of good memories. Remembering does carry its own pain, however. Dad has been gone since 1999. My older sister, Carla, has opted out of the family by disappearing. We had one 20 minute phone conversation in April but since then her phone is disconnected and I have no address for her. This leaves my younger sister Elizabeth and I to be the sole heirs of these memories. They are all I have of that home we five were together in on Lime Kiln Road. This is how this works.
Christmas is thorny for us this year. Memories will push and prod and poke. I will smile at some memories and others will cause the grief of loss of these two important people in my life to cause me to weep tears. I suspect I have company in this season. Everyone has lost a loved one and Christmas causes old memories to stir and surface to once again be looked at. Smiles will be mingled with tears.
But it is Advent, the birth of love, light and our personal salvation into the Heavenly Kingdom. While His birth was noticed by only a few here on earth, a tsunami of change swept the Heavenly Kingdom that holy night. We who believe in Him have been adopted into the Father's household, we are new creatures, the sons and daughters at Abba's table. This hope, this healing love is what I also have during this glorious season of Advent.
Six days later my wife would have knee replacement surgery and her care overruled most thoughts of the loss of Dad. We were able to get her to his memorial service 10 days after her surgery but those days are such a haze now, nearly a year later.
Seven months and two days later, my mother also went home. It was the day after her 93rd birthday. After a whirlwind weekend with the addition of Monday to the weekend, we made all the confusing steps of an ER visit with my mom, finding a new care facility for her to live in with her new frailties, moving in the few things she would need and moving her out of her apartment that Monday, I received a call that Tuesday from the caregiver telling me she was gone. My mind raced with all the upcoming details as I drove home. My two kids met me at home and the three of us moved mom's things out of the room she'd only occupied since the previous Saturday afternoon.
That afternoon I sat at home alone. Dazed. I thought we would have a couple more weeks.
So here I am, wanting to write something "adventy" but memories of long ago Christmases have knocked me sideways. From my perspective, Christmas was one of two times a year when Mom was relatively happy and content so I have a small collection of good memories. Remembering does carry its own pain, however. Dad has been gone since 1999. My older sister, Carla, has opted out of the family by disappearing. We had one 20 minute phone conversation in April but since then her phone is disconnected and I have no address for her. This leaves my younger sister Elizabeth and I to be the sole heirs of these memories. They are all I have of that home we five were together in on Lime Kiln Road. This is how this works.
Christmas is thorny for us this year. Memories will push and prod and poke. I will smile at some memories and others will cause the grief of loss of these two important people in my life to cause me to weep tears. I suspect I have company in this season. Everyone has lost a loved one and Christmas causes old memories to stir and surface to once again be looked at. Smiles will be mingled with tears.
But it is Advent, the birth of love, light and our personal salvation into the Heavenly Kingdom. While His birth was noticed by only a few here on earth, a tsunami of change swept the Heavenly Kingdom that holy night. We who believe in Him have been adopted into the Father's household, we are new creatures, the sons and daughters at Abba's table. This hope, this healing love is what I also have during this glorious season of Advent.
Monday, December 12, 2016
Advent III
Shepherds. We know the story. They are in the fields and are startled by angelic beings telling them of the birth of Jesus, who He was and were to find Him. Frankly, it is such an old story we might miss the wonder of these guys getting the news first. Several years ago I learned that being a shepherd meant being perpetually "unclean" in terms of Jewish custom. Their livelihood meant they could never be "clean" and therefore were outside of the culture. Those that are unclean are first told of the birth. Pretty amazing to me. It speaks volumes to me about who Jesus came for.
I also find it interesting that they not only went to Bethlehem and saw the tiny infant exactly as told to them, but they also went and told all who would listen of what they had heard and seen that night. Unfortunately, we have no record that anyone really listened and also went to find this babe. That speaks to me as well. Perhaps folk were just too wrapped up in their own lives for them to be bothered with a baby in a stable. More likely they would not really listen to this group of dirty shepherds.
I also am in awe that later Jesus would declare Himself the Good Shepherd. Eventually He would bear our uncleanliness though He Himself was spotless. Oh my, what a glorious thought that ties to that first group to be told of His lowly birth.
The Wise Men, probably many in number, are foreigners from the east, we are told. They see something in the sky that seems to tell them something important has happened, the birth of a king they surmise. We really can't be sure why they come to that conclusion. There are those, much smarter than I, that have good ideas but, for me, the bottom line is these are foreigners who come a long way to worship. Foreigners who are outsiders looking in to the wonder of this child.
They've seen something inexplicable in the sky and follow it, first to Jerusalem where they ask around and end up talking to Herod. Then this star leads them southward to Bethlehem from Jerusalem. My pastor a couple of weeks ago pointed out the inexplicable nature of a star first leading westward then leading them southward. I don't think there is a logical explanation for this odd turn that defies astrophysics. More simply, God wanted them to find the child and used their "language", that of the lights in the night sky, to communicate to them and they listened and acted. Isn't it odd that no one else thought anything of this light in the night sky? I do. Were folk so caught up in their own small stories that they couldn't see the light and wonder? Evidently not. Noting a light like this and wondering at it's meaning requires some embrace of mystery and a willingness to step into a larger story.
I also find it interesting that they heed a warning that comes to them in a dream. This too speaks of an embrace of mystery. How many of us would consider a dream and see it as a warning? It takes some deep wisdom to seriously consider dreams a means of revelation. These guys seem to have this wisdom.
Foreigners and dirty shepherds seem to be the only ones who would recognize something important had occurred. But then there are two others who are intertwined in the story and also see, through faith, God's provision in this babe.
Simeon and Anna, at the temple when Joseph and Mary bring Jesus to the temple are two who simply know. These two appear to represent the faithful who Jesus came for as well as the foreigners and the shepherds. Even those that are faithful have a need for what Jesus will offer in His life, death, resurrection and ascension. The full work of Jesus, started in a stable is for all.
But I've jumped ahead. For now we have so few who would stop and listen to the gentle whisper found in their hearts for it is in our hearts we must learn to hear those herald angels saying, "Glory to God in the highest and on earth peace and goodwill towards men".
I also find it interesting that they not only went to Bethlehem and saw the tiny infant exactly as told to them, but they also went and told all who would listen of what they had heard and seen that night. Unfortunately, we have no record that anyone really listened and also went to find this babe. That speaks to me as well. Perhaps folk were just too wrapped up in their own lives for them to be bothered with a baby in a stable. More likely they would not really listen to this group of dirty shepherds.
I also am in awe that later Jesus would declare Himself the Good Shepherd. Eventually He would bear our uncleanliness though He Himself was spotless. Oh my, what a glorious thought that ties to that first group to be told of His lowly birth.
The Wise Men, probably many in number, are foreigners from the east, we are told. They see something in the sky that seems to tell them something important has happened, the birth of a king they surmise. We really can't be sure why they come to that conclusion. There are those, much smarter than I, that have good ideas but, for me, the bottom line is these are foreigners who come a long way to worship. Foreigners who are outsiders looking in to the wonder of this child.
They've seen something inexplicable in the sky and follow it, first to Jerusalem where they ask around and end up talking to Herod. Then this star leads them southward to Bethlehem from Jerusalem. My pastor a couple of weeks ago pointed out the inexplicable nature of a star first leading westward then leading them southward. I don't think there is a logical explanation for this odd turn that defies astrophysics. More simply, God wanted them to find the child and used their "language", that of the lights in the night sky, to communicate to them and they listened and acted. Isn't it odd that no one else thought anything of this light in the night sky? I do. Were folk so caught up in their own small stories that they couldn't see the light and wonder? Evidently not. Noting a light like this and wondering at it's meaning requires some embrace of mystery and a willingness to step into a larger story.
I also find it interesting that they heed a warning that comes to them in a dream. This too speaks of an embrace of mystery. How many of us would consider a dream and see it as a warning? It takes some deep wisdom to seriously consider dreams a means of revelation. These guys seem to have this wisdom.
Foreigners and dirty shepherds seem to be the only ones who would recognize something important had occurred. But then there are two others who are intertwined in the story and also see, through faith, God's provision in this babe.
Simeon and Anna, at the temple when Joseph and Mary bring Jesus to the temple are two who simply know. These two appear to represent the faithful who Jesus came for as well as the foreigners and the shepherds. Even those that are faithful have a need for what Jesus will offer in His life, death, resurrection and ascension. The full work of Jesus, started in a stable is for all.
But I've jumped ahead. For now we have so few who would stop and listen to the gentle whisper found in their hearts for it is in our hearts we must learn to hear those herald angels saying, "Glory to God in the highest and on earth peace and goodwill towards men".
Monday, December 5, 2016
Advent II
You're serving your time in Jerusalem as a priest, probably the last time you will have this opportunity as you are now in the later season of life. You fully expect to go home shortly when your time is finished to your beloved wife. The two of you have done all you could to follow after God in spite of the great disappointment in your life, you've had no children and you are both well past the time for this. For you it is a lonely ache but you know for Elizabeth it has been a disgrace she's borne with great dignity. You really are ready to go home.
The day comes and you are chosen by lot to be the priest to offer the annual sacrifice for sin. You are honored as you thought you would never have the opportunity to do this. Few ever have this honor. This has to feel like the "pinnacle" of your priestly life, your whole life, and you vow to fulfill the duties with all the humility and honor the task demands. After this act, you think your life is over, fulfilled as fully as possible.
Oh but God has other plans and frankly I think He must have laughed a bit about what was coming to Zechariah and Elizabeth, two people too old for what was coming. I also have no problem understanding Zechariah's response to Gabriel's announcement, I think I would have responded similarly. I am probably close to the age he was when told he's going to have a son. He couldn't possibly imagine such a thing would come to his lonely household so he questioned the announcement.
I am also amused that he is struck silent until John is born. He now had plenty of time to contemplate how very different his life would become, thoughts only heard by God. Perhaps his first month was a silent bargaining with God until he finally came to rest and nestle into a silent initmacy with this God he'd served his entire life.
When the day finally arrived that this baby boy was to be named his tongue is finally loosened and out flows confirmation of John's name and a prophecy over his son that rings through to this day.
He thought his life would be over after the "pinnacle" of being chosen that day to offer the sacrifice but God had another idea, another life to come from those two, Elizabeth and Zechariah.
I identify with this man in so many ways. I've had days when I felt I'd squandered too many years, stumbled along with a job that really was no "career" with little satisfaction; that I'd contributed little to the Kingdom. But just as a new life was to flow from Elizabeth and Zechariah, we are offered a new life as well. For me that is part of Christmas, God with us.
This "God with us" means my life is fused with His. My days, no matter how many I have, begin in a manger in a cave-barn. I am once again swept into the deep mystery of God bundled in a baby and my life beginning again this Advent season.
The day comes and you are chosen by lot to be the priest to offer the annual sacrifice for sin. You are honored as you thought you would never have the opportunity to do this. Few ever have this honor. This has to feel like the "pinnacle" of your priestly life, your whole life, and you vow to fulfill the duties with all the humility and honor the task demands. After this act, you think your life is over, fulfilled as fully as possible.
Oh but God has other plans and frankly I think He must have laughed a bit about what was coming to Zechariah and Elizabeth, two people too old for what was coming. I also have no problem understanding Zechariah's response to Gabriel's announcement, I think I would have responded similarly. I am probably close to the age he was when told he's going to have a son. He couldn't possibly imagine such a thing would come to his lonely household so he questioned the announcement.
I am also amused that he is struck silent until John is born. He now had plenty of time to contemplate how very different his life would become, thoughts only heard by God. Perhaps his first month was a silent bargaining with God until he finally came to rest and nestle into a silent initmacy with this God he'd served his entire life.
When the day finally arrived that this baby boy was to be named his tongue is finally loosened and out flows confirmation of John's name and a prophecy over his son that rings through to this day.
He thought his life would be over after the "pinnacle" of being chosen that day to offer the sacrifice but God had another idea, another life to come from those two, Elizabeth and Zechariah.
I identify with this man in so many ways. I've had days when I felt I'd squandered too many years, stumbled along with a job that really was no "career" with little satisfaction; that I'd contributed little to the Kingdom. But just as a new life was to flow from Elizabeth and Zechariah, we are offered a new life as well. For me that is part of Christmas, God with us.
This "God with us" means my life is fused with His. My days, no matter how many I have, begin in a manger in a cave-barn. I am once again swept into the deep mystery of God bundled in a baby and my life beginning again this Advent season.
Monday, November 28, 2016
Advent I
I didn't grow up in a tradition of "Advent". We simply had Christmas. I think I was first introduced to this term during our years at First Covenant in San Francisco and it certainly was a word used during our years in Minnesota at our Evangelical Free church. For the first years at our present church it was not mentioned nor emphasized often but in the last several years, perhaps 10, it was emphasized to various degrees.
In my mind there is a subtle but significant difference. Christmas feels like a day whereas Advent implies season. Certainly "Christmas" can imply a season but the youthful places in my heart remember the run-up to the big day and the let down of December 26th. I am now more inclined to embrace Advent so as to enjoy the entire four week period from yesterday; the first Sunday of Advent, until December 25th.
This is why I was saddened yesterday at my home church's complete retreat from "Advent". No lighting of the first candle, no reading of the first passage, not even a mention. Frankly, I had forgotten it was the first Sunday of Advent until I was driving home and it hit me, no Advent.
While I am disappointed at this turn of event, I do know this, nothing stops me from embracing personally the Advent season, with or without a corporate acknowledgment on the part of my church home. I've decided my celebration will happen here, at the keyboard as I reflect on some of the characters that play important roles in Advent.
There are two mothers, Elizabeth and Mary. Neither should have borne sons; Elizabeth due to age and Mary due to virginity. I have often been intrigued by Elizabeth and her story. Obviously, while I can't understand from experience the wonder she must have felt at this baby growing inside her, I can imagine how incredibly happy with wonder she must have felt. John's mother was a woman of deep wisdom that had grown through all the childless years. The hurt and disappointment she must have felt for years deepened something in her so that when Mary enters her home and her unborn baby leaps she instantly recognizes the magnitude of Mary's baby, "How is it that the mother of my Lord should come to me". It is the first record of declaration of Jesus' Lordship and all before He is even born. By faith, she simply knows.
Mary is another story, isn't she? We protestants make too little of her, nearly making her a footnote to the wonder and drama unfolding. In all probability she was a teenager. I don't think it is proper to make too many comparisons between teenagers of our culture and teenagers in Mary's culture but Gabriel's announcement that she is highly favored does indicate there is something special about this young woman. We quickly learn how special she is with her response, "I am the handmaiden of the Lord". Such submission, such faith. It should startle us at our core. She has only a glimpse of what she is agreeing to. No one will believe her story and she knows that will mean becoming an outcast. She will always have to cast her heart, soul and body into the hands of the unseen God she reveres.
Shortly after the birth of Jesus, she finds herself in Jerusalem, her baby swept up in the arms of an old man, Simeon. And it is then she is told a sword will pierce her heart. What teenager can bear such news? A young woman of faith.
I am also struck by one other note regarding Mary; she is the only person to know, without faith, she conceived as a virgin by the Holy Spirit. In some way, this sets her apart but does not mitigate what she would always endure for the rest if her life in that culture. Surely there were those that believed her but I am just as sure that most would not and would always look on her with whispered suspicions. It takes faith and strength beyond her years to be willing to walk that journey.
So, two mothers revolve around each other in the opening of this Advent season. Two women of deep faith in the goodness of God. They call me to ponder anew my own faith.
In my mind there is a subtle but significant difference. Christmas feels like a day whereas Advent implies season. Certainly "Christmas" can imply a season but the youthful places in my heart remember the run-up to the big day and the let down of December 26th. I am now more inclined to embrace Advent so as to enjoy the entire four week period from yesterday; the first Sunday of Advent, until December 25th.
This is why I was saddened yesterday at my home church's complete retreat from "Advent". No lighting of the first candle, no reading of the first passage, not even a mention. Frankly, I had forgotten it was the first Sunday of Advent until I was driving home and it hit me, no Advent.
While I am disappointed at this turn of event, I do know this, nothing stops me from embracing personally the Advent season, with or without a corporate acknowledgment on the part of my church home. I've decided my celebration will happen here, at the keyboard as I reflect on some of the characters that play important roles in Advent.
There are two mothers, Elizabeth and Mary. Neither should have borne sons; Elizabeth due to age and Mary due to virginity. I have often been intrigued by Elizabeth and her story. Obviously, while I can't understand from experience the wonder she must have felt at this baby growing inside her, I can imagine how incredibly happy with wonder she must have felt. John's mother was a woman of deep wisdom that had grown through all the childless years. The hurt and disappointment she must have felt for years deepened something in her so that when Mary enters her home and her unborn baby leaps she instantly recognizes the magnitude of Mary's baby, "How is it that the mother of my Lord should come to me". It is the first record of declaration of Jesus' Lordship and all before He is even born. By faith, she simply knows.
Mary is another story, isn't she? We protestants make too little of her, nearly making her a footnote to the wonder and drama unfolding. In all probability she was a teenager. I don't think it is proper to make too many comparisons between teenagers of our culture and teenagers in Mary's culture but Gabriel's announcement that she is highly favored does indicate there is something special about this young woman. We quickly learn how special she is with her response, "I am the handmaiden of the Lord". Such submission, such faith. It should startle us at our core. She has only a glimpse of what she is agreeing to. No one will believe her story and she knows that will mean becoming an outcast. She will always have to cast her heart, soul and body into the hands of the unseen God she reveres.
Shortly after the birth of Jesus, she finds herself in Jerusalem, her baby swept up in the arms of an old man, Simeon. And it is then she is told a sword will pierce her heart. What teenager can bear such news? A young woman of faith.
I am also struck by one other note regarding Mary; she is the only person to know, without faith, she conceived as a virgin by the Holy Spirit. In some way, this sets her apart but does not mitigate what she would always endure for the rest if her life in that culture. Surely there were those that believed her but I am just as sure that most would not and would always look on her with whispered suspicions. It takes faith and strength beyond her years to be willing to walk that journey.
So, two mothers revolve around each other in the opening of this Advent season. Two women of deep faith in the goodness of God. They call me to ponder anew my own faith.
Monday, November 21, 2016
Sleepless
Two weeks ago on Monday night I could not go to sleep. I finally ended up getting up after about three hours of fitful sleep. I remember because I could not shut down. On Monday evening I am usually outside with my dog Murphy and my computer and my Bible getting ready for the Bible study I lead on Tuesday mornings. Its a small group of men, six of us. We've been meeting for about seven years.
We are currently looking at the gospels, attempting to look at them all at once. I use a parallel website that puts the recorded events together so it is easier to look at the four gospels as a whole. Two weeks ago we started looking at the Sermon on the Mount in Matthew, chapters 5, 6 & 7. I'd spent that evening looking at the opening, the "blessed are's" that begin this magnificent discourse. I wrote out some thoughts about the different blesseds that are listed and found myself so caught up that I simply could not shut down when I went to bed.
I fear I will once again be unable to shut down tonight. Maybe writing here will help me, but I doubt it.
I keep thinking about the response recorded at the end of the discourse, the people were amazed at Jesus' teaching and His authority. I am putting myself in that place, sitting there and trying to "listen" as if I'd never heard these words before. Tonight I am caught up in His telling those gathered that we are salt and light. He tells us this right after turning their world upside down by telling them what is really important in the Kingdom of God - the opening "blesseds". They really did turn things upside down for those listening that day and still do when we lay alongside what He tells us is important in the Kingdom side by side to our own culture of what is important for success.
So now those hearing, both then and now, are salt and light. Wow! Not the theologically learned, not the professors in hallowed halls of learning, not those out doing the extraordinary, but the poor in spirit, those that mourn, those that are meek, those that hunger and thirst for righteousness, those that forgive, those that are peacemakers. It boggles my mind.
He then goes on to say He came not to abolish the law but to fulfill it. Then he gives example after example of ways we think we keep and obey the law only to hear how being angry at a brother is the equivalent of murder, that lust is adultery. The rest of the passage pins us to the wall with the choice of perfection or humble submission to what is to come, namely His righteousness indwelling me via the Holy Spirit given at second birth.
He completely turns their world, and our religious world upside down, if we but listen carefully.
Tonight, I am once again captured by Him, His clarity and mystery alongside His authority. Man, I just want to follow this guy. He's really something. I do fear though, that I will have a hard time shutting down to sleep.
We are currently looking at the gospels, attempting to look at them all at once. I use a parallel website that puts the recorded events together so it is easier to look at the four gospels as a whole. Two weeks ago we started looking at the Sermon on the Mount in Matthew, chapters 5, 6 & 7. I'd spent that evening looking at the opening, the "blessed are's" that begin this magnificent discourse. I wrote out some thoughts about the different blesseds that are listed and found myself so caught up that I simply could not shut down when I went to bed.
I fear I will once again be unable to shut down tonight. Maybe writing here will help me, but I doubt it.
I keep thinking about the response recorded at the end of the discourse, the people were amazed at Jesus' teaching and His authority. I am putting myself in that place, sitting there and trying to "listen" as if I'd never heard these words before. Tonight I am caught up in His telling those gathered that we are salt and light. He tells us this right after turning their world upside down by telling them what is really important in the Kingdom of God - the opening "blesseds". They really did turn things upside down for those listening that day and still do when we lay alongside what He tells us is important in the Kingdom side by side to our own culture of what is important for success.
So now those hearing, both then and now, are salt and light. Wow! Not the theologically learned, not the professors in hallowed halls of learning, not those out doing the extraordinary, but the poor in spirit, those that mourn, those that are meek, those that hunger and thirst for righteousness, those that forgive, those that are peacemakers. It boggles my mind.
He then goes on to say He came not to abolish the law but to fulfill it. Then he gives example after example of ways we think we keep and obey the law only to hear how being angry at a brother is the equivalent of murder, that lust is adultery. The rest of the passage pins us to the wall with the choice of perfection or humble submission to what is to come, namely His righteousness indwelling me via the Holy Spirit given at second birth.
He completely turns their world, and our religious world upside down, if we but listen carefully.
Tonight, I am once again captured by Him, His clarity and mystery alongside His authority. Man, I just want to follow this guy. He's really something. I do fear though, that I will have a hard time shutting down to sleep.
Sunday, November 13, 2016
Lap
I can't write easily with him on my lap. I am sitting on my front porch on a warm November afternoon and I can't write sitting off to the side so my lap is cocked off towards my left in such a way to accommodate my dog Murphy.
There, that is better. I put him down. You see, he is a Yorkshire Terrier, Shitzhu mix. The Yorkie in him causes Murphy to act like an idiot when someone comes to the door. His protective nature kicks in and he barks up a storm that causes my wife great consternation. The Shitzhu (forgive me if I am spelling this incorrectly) is another area that causes him to crave my lap. My understanding is that this breed was bred to sit on the Chinese Royal's lap. I sit outside here to do much thinking and studying for some of my commitments and it is here that I often choose to write here. He will be good off my lap for a period of time but then will start to whine and cry to come back up and sit a while. He simply needs some lap time from me. I can tell him "no" and he will, more often than not, accept my rebuff but eventually I will have to give in and let him leap up on my lap.
I've recently been thinking about this act of sitting on a lap. At 63 I am well past sitting on someone's lap but I recall fondly sitting on my father's lap when I was very little. Dad would let me sit on his lap while he read the local newspaper in the evening. Often our little black dog, Zeke, would join us. I felt safe and comforted.
I am also thinking of having my own children and now my grandson sit on my lap. It was a comfort to me as well as a comfort to them. Lap sitting is a very comforting and healthy place for little ones as they grow. Eventually though we grow too large for the laps we once occupied.
Please take a moment and think about your own experiences of lap-sitting. Hopefully you had those times of comfort and deep physical contact with a loved one and you can, with some effort, recall those feelings associated with lap-sitting.
My church family is looking at growing closer to God through a 4-part series of messages. There are many ways that we need to be intentional about if we are to grow close to our ever-present Abba and I am looking forward to hearing more of what is to come. I find it interesting that for about a month I've been thinking about my dog Murphy and his need for my lap and some of the spiritual implications of this need that I still carry as an adult. I've thought about writing here about this and this desire to write now coincides with this important series of messages.
While I am looking forward to hearing more, I am finding I need to approach this simply. I am reminded of a couple of things Jesus taught. First was His reiteration of the Great Commandment, to love God with our whole heart, mind and strength. The second thing that falls along side this reminder is His conviction that we need and have a Father, Abba and He longs to be our father. Jesus modeled well that relationship while on earth. Implied in this is our continued child-likeness that is needed, required in this relationship with Abba.
We grow physically and can no longer enjoy the comfort once had in the lap of a parent or grandparent but I think we still need to find some lap-sitting for our souls. We are children of the Most High and He has come to us, we are in Him and He is in us. Why not place ourselves in His lap? Why should we not recall our own memories of lap-sitting and ask God to become the parent He is and let the comfort of His presence enfold our souls as we recall the safety and comfort we once had with our earthly parents?
Let those memories come along side your God-given imagination and let yourself sit in His lap. It may feel a little silly or juvenile but if we are honest with ourselves, we may admit we long for that experience from time to time. For me, I find it easiest to find this comfortable posture when I am outside, especially when I am sheltered by a tree. Maybe a comfortable chair is a better place for some of you. The point is to say "yes" to God's invitation for intimacy and comfort with His presence. Take a moment and find some quiet and ask to sit in His loving embrace, His loving lap and see where He will take your soul.
Well, Murphy is getting insistent for my lap again. I've rebuffed him three or four times while writing this so I think I need to invite him back up.
There, that is better. I put him down. You see, he is a Yorkshire Terrier, Shitzhu mix. The Yorkie in him causes Murphy to act like an idiot when someone comes to the door. His protective nature kicks in and he barks up a storm that causes my wife great consternation. The Shitzhu (forgive me if I am spelling this incorrectly) is another area that causes him to crave my lap. My understanding is that this breed was bred to sit on the Chinese Royal's lap. I sit outside here to do much thinking and studying for some of my commitments and it is here that I often choose to write here. He will be good off my lap for a period of time but then will start to whine and cry to come back up and sit a while. He simply needs some lap time from me. I can tell him "no" and he will, more often than not, accept my rebuff but eventually I will have to give in and let him leap up on my lap.
I've recently been thinking about this act of sitting on a lap. At 63 I am well past sitting on someone's lap but I recall fondly sitting on my father's lap when I was very little. Dad would let me sit on his lap while he read the local newspaper in the evening. Often our little black dog, Zeke, would join us. I felt safe and comforted.
I am also thinking of having my own children and now my grandson sit on my lap. It was a comfort to me as well as a comfort to them. Lap sitting is a very comforting and healthy place for little ones as they grow. Eventually though we grow too large for the laps we once occupied.
Please take a moment and think about your own experiences of lap-sitting. Hopefully you had those times of comfort and deep physical contact with a loved one and you can, with some effort, recall those feelings associated with lap-sitting.
My church family is looking at growing closer to God through a 4-part series of messages. There are many ways that we need to be intentional about if we are to grow close to our ever-present Abba and I am looking forward to hearing more of what is to come. I find it interesting that for about a month I've been thinking about my dog Murphy and his need for my lap and some of the spiritual implications of this need that I still carry as an adult. I've thought about writing here about this and this desire to write now coincides with this important series of messages.
While I am looking forward to hearing more, I am finding I need to approach this simply. I am reminded of a couple of things Jesus taught. First was His reiteration of the Great Commandment, to love God with our whole heart, mind and strength. The second thing that falls along side this reminder is His conviction that we need and have a Father, Abba and He longs to be our father. Jesus modeled well that relationship while on earth. Implied in this is our continued child-likeness that is needed, required in this relationship with Abba.
We grow physically and can no longer enjoy the comfort once had in the lap of a parent or grandparent but I think we still need to find some lap-sitting for our souls. We are children of the Most High and He has come to us, we are in Him and He is in us. Why not place ourselves in His lap? Why should we not recall our own memories of lap-sitting and ask God to become the parent He is and let the comfort of His presence enfold our souls as we recall the safety and comfort we once had with our earthly parents?
Let those memories come along side your God-given imagination and let yourself sit in His lap. It may feel a little silly or juvenile but if we are honest with ourselves, we may admit we long for that experience from time to time. For me, I find it easiest to find this comfortable posture when I am outside, especially when I am sheltered by a tree. Maybe a comfortable chair is a better place for some of you. The point is to say "yes" to God's invitation for intimacy and comfort with His presence. Take a moment and find some quiet and ask to sit in His loving embrace, His loving lap and see where He will take your soul.
Well, Murphy is getting insistent for my lap again. I've rebuffed him three or four times while writing this so I think I need to invite him back up.
Sunday, September 11, 2016
Speaking
Some days I spend a bit of time thinking about our God Image-ness. I think there are many aspects of this notion that we overlook. We live in a culture that, for the most part, views us a evolved animals. Of course I don't buy into that because we are told in Genesis that we are created in His image, the image of God. We are not gods but we reflect and are an image of Him.
Today I am thinking about speaking, our ability to form and create complex sounds that convey thoughts, the frivolous alongside the deep thoughts. Speech is important and I believe is one of our many distinctives that set us apart from the animal world. Yes, I think we can observe some forms of communication that occur within other species. My dog Murphy has developed a bit of a vocabulary to get me to do some things he wants me to do but frankly there really is no comparison and I think it foolish to attempt to make that comparison.
Speaking is important and powerful. If we are to take the creation story in Genesis literally - and I do - all of creation was spoken into existence. That is POWER! It makes me marvel and causes me to believe that our ability to choose to speak is an important, fundamental part of our God Image-ness, something to consider whenever we choose to speak. There is power in this ability, a power for good and evil.
This morning our Pastor was in the second part of a series on Freedom. He is starting out the series by speaking of our identity. This is so important. I don't want to rehash what was said this morning but rather tell of something he had us do. In our bulletin was a two sided page in color that listed on both sides many of the things Scripture tells us about our identity in Christ. It is a powerful list that I will refer to again in the days to come. What Scott had us do was read out loud each and every one of the identifiers that tell us who we are in Christ. It was powerful to hear the voices reading aloud the list.
We need to hear, in our own voices those things that we are told we are to help make them more real. There is something in the hearing that helps ingrain them into our hearts. Anyone who has done any acting knows that memorization is aided greatly by speaking aloud the lines as we try to memorize them. (I also have to write as I speak. Six years ago I was deep in memorization to prepare to play Scrooge in our production of A Christmas Carol and I wrote page after page of dialog!)
There is another aspect of speaking truth aloud that is probably more important but may be overlooked. We have an enemy, the father of lies whose native language is lies. There we are again, speaking, language and the power of language. Anyway, I don't believe our enemy can read our minds. I think he's had thousands of years of observing humans and has developed well all sorts of ways to disrupt us in our quest of living with Jesus but I don't believe he can know my thoughts. He will suggest those things that have worked in the past to get us off the rails and unfortunately, we all know he has some success in doing this.
He may not be privy to our thoughts but I do believe he hears our words. Our words are heard by the enemy. Think about that. This morning nearly 2000 people declared in the hearing of our enemy who we are in Christ. It was not just a declaration for ourselves and each other but a declaration of war. We are Christ's possession and do not belong to this world and the forces that are out to get us. John writes in Revelation 12 that we are hated for following after Jesus. We need to, at times, declare aloud who we are and what we stand for, especially when we sense we are being assailed by our enemy. Our words have power when heard by those that hate us in the heavenly realm.
I am not a "name it and claim it" kind of believer. I don't believe God works that way. I do believe that there is power in speaking aloud the words we read in Scripture that tell us who we are in Christ. Next time you come to a passage that says who we are, don't just give mental assent, speak them, declare to the heavenly realm who you are and who you love.
Today I am thinking about speaking, our ability to form and create complex sounds that convey thoughts, the frivolous alongside the deep thoughts. Speech is important and I believe is one of our many distinctives that set us apart from the animal world. Yes, I think we can observe some forms of communication that occur within other species. My dog Murphy has developed a bit of a vocabulary to get me to do some things he wants me to do but frankly there really is no comparison and I think it foolish to attempt to make that comparison.
Speaking is important and powerful. If we are to take the creation story in Genesis literally - and I do - all of creation was spoken into existence. That is POWER! It makes me marvel and causes me to believe that our ability to choose to speak is an important, fundamental part of our God Image-ness, something to consider whenever we choose to speak. There is power in this ability, a power for good and evil.
This morning our Pastor was in the second part of a series on Freedom. He is starting out the series by speaking of our identity. This is so important. I don't want to rehash what was said this morning but rather tell of something he had us do. In our bulletin was a two sided page in color that listed on both sides many of the things Scripture tells us about our identity in Christ. It is a powerful list that I will refer to again in the days to come. What Scott had us do was read out loud each and every one of the identifiers that tell us who we are in Christ. It was powerful to hear the voices reading aloud the list.
We need to hear, in our own voices those things that we are told we are to help make them more real. There is something in the hearing that helps ingrain them into our hearts. Anyone who has done any acting knows that memorization is aided greatly by speaking aloud the lines as we try to memorize them. (I also have to write as I speak. Six years ago I was deep in memorization to prepare to play Scrooge in our production of A Christmas Carol and I wrote page after page of dialog!)
There is another aspect of speaking truth aloud that is probably more important but may be overlooked. We have an enemy, the father of lies whose native language is lies. There we are again, speaking, language and the power of language. Anyway, I don't believe our enemy can read our minds. I think he's had thousands of years of observing humans and has developed well all sorts of ways to disrupt us in our quest of living with Jesus but I don't believe he can know my thoughts. He will suggest those things that have worked in the past to get us off the rails and unfortunately, we all know he has some success in doing this.
He may not be privy to our thoughts but I do believe he hears our words. Our words are heard by the enemy. Think about that. This morning nearly 2000 people declared in the hearing of our enemy who we are in Christ. It was not just a declaration for ourselves and each other but a declaration of war. We are Christ's possession and do not belong to this world and the forces that are out to get us. John writes in Revelation 12 that we are hated for following after Jesus. We need to, at times, declare aloud who we are and what we stand for, especially when we sense we are being assailed by our enemy. Our words have power when heard by those that hate us in the heavenly realm.
I am not a "name it and claim it" kind of believer. I don't believe God works that way. I do believe that there is power in speaking aloud the words we read in Scripture that tell us who we are in Christ. Next time you come to a passage that says who we are, don't just give mental assent, speak them, declare to the heavenly realm who you are and who you love.
Tuesday, August 30, 2016
Myron
Several weeks ago I heard a sermon based upon Matthew 26:31-46, the separation of the sheep and the goats. The speaker treated the passage as parable. It appears at the end of a fairly long teaching to the disciples after asking Jesus about when He will return. Frankly, I am not inclined to view it as parable. There are parables in the proceeding discourse - The Ten Virgins and the Talents - that speak of watchful readiness for His return but I am inclined to see this passage as visionary prophecy. There is no "... it will be like..." statement of introduction that sets the stage for parable. "When the Son of Man comes in His glory, and all the angels with Him..." sets the passage apart from the proceeding parables.
Some may argue this a minor point but I don't believe it minor at all. I believe Jesus is giving the 12 a glimpse of what is to come and some concrete ideas of what "watchful readiness" looks like in His Kingdom. Treating the passage as parable lets us off the hook allowing us to define more comfortably the issues of justice He lays out for us. I see this as a very uncomfortable passage.
I was reminded of my friend Myron. I knew him about 35 years ago when we lived in Minnesota. Through no fault of our own we nearly became homeless. Myron, his wife Joan and their two teenage daughters invited us to live with them for a few weeks in their basement. If memory serves me, my daughter was three and my son was a year old.
Myron had been captured by this passage. Again, if memory serves me, he was unemployed, he had time on his hands and the passage ate at him. Economically our nation was in a deep recession and he saw many were out of work, fearful and hopeless. He felt compelled to do something.
Sitting at his kitchen table, smoking cigarettes and drinking Diet Pepsi he started making phone calls. Myron had the gift of gab and a tenacious yet humble boldness. He called those he knew were well off and asked for donations of food to give to those in need. Word got out about what he was up to and he started getting calls from those in deep need. This little endeavor started there at his kitchen table grew to become Manna Lifeline. He headed up this non-profit for the rest of his life. Myron is home now with our elder brother and Lord Jesus.
Myron read the passage literally and discomfort at what he read caused him to take concrete action to address injustice. I believe this passage ought to cause holy discomfort that will shake us out of our complacency.
If one reads the passage carefully we can see some of what is important in God's Kingdom; hunger, thirst, loneliness, nakedness, sickness and those imprisoned, issues of justice. In every age proceeding Jesus' time on earth and every age since these issues have always been with us. Responding to these issues of justice takes on a non-optional imperative in light of how Jesus expresses Himself as recorded by Matthew.
Honestly, I am uncomfortable with my own complacency. I've not done all I could.
That day in church the bulletin carried a card asking for a response to the passage. Part of the card asked for an affirmative response to Jesus' call to accept Him as Lord and Savior. Amen!
The other part asked for a response to action in bulleted areas of ministry at the church: Administrative (ie Office Help/Phones/Typing), Hospitality (ie Greeter/Usher/Parking Posse), Physical Labor (ie Chair Set-Up/Gardening/Campus Clean-Up), Technical (ie Sound/AV/Lighting), Events (ie Decorating/Hospitality/Cooking/Clean-Up), Nursery/Children/Youth/LifeGroup Leader/Host, Visitation, and the ubiquitous Other.
As I sit writing and looking at the card I did not use, I am saddened and grieved. These are legitimate needs to be met by an organization that strives to be relevant to our present culture, but the point was missed entirely. Jesus' concern for justice in a very unjust culture was watered down, set aside, dismissed. Responding was made easy in a way that unsettles me.
I read the passage again and I let the words work discomfort that hopefully will cause action. Action on my part that is more in alignment with the issues important to Jesus.
Myron, I miss you. Thank you for taking these inspired words and doing what you could. Well done, my friend!
Some may argue this a minor point but I don't believe it minor at all. I believe Jesus is giving the 12 a glimpse of what is to come and some concrete ideas of what "watchful readiness" looks like in His Kingdom. Treating the passage as parable lets us off the hook allowing us to define more comfortably the issues of justice He lays out for us. I see this as a very uncomfortable passage.
I was reminded of my friend Myron. I knew him about 35 years ago when we lived in Minnesota. Through no fault of our own we nearly became homeless. Myron, his wife Joan and their two teenage daughters invited us to live with them for a few weeks in their basement. If memory serves me, my daughter was three and my son was a year old.
Myron had been captured by this passage. Again, if memory serves me, he was unemployed, he had time on his hands and the passage ate at him. Economically our nation was in a deep recession and he saw many were out of work, fearful and hopeless. He felt compelled to do something.
Sitting at his kitchen table, smoking cigarettes and drinking Diet Pepsi he started making phone calls. Myron had the gift of gab and a tenacious yet humble boldness. He called those he knew were well off and asked for donations of food to give to those in need. Word got out about what he was up to and he started getting calls from those in deep need. This little endeavor started there at his kitchen table grew to become Manna Lifeline. He headed up this non-profit for the rest of his life. Myron is home now with our elder brother and Lord Jesus.
Myron read the passage literally and discomfort at what he read caused him to take concrete action to address injustice. I believe this passage ought to cause holy discomfort that will shake us out of our complacency.
If one reads the passage carefully we can see some of what is important in God's Kingdom; hunger, thirst, loneliness, nakedness, sickness and those imprisoned, issues of justice. In every age proceeding Jesus' time on earth and every age since these issues have always been with us. Responding to these issues of justice takes on a non-optional imperative in light of how Jesus expresses Himself as recorded by Matthew.
Honestly, I am uncomfortable with my own complacency. I've not done all I could.
That day in church the bulletin carried a card asking for a response to the passage. Part of the card asked for an affirmative response to Jesus' call to accept Him as Lord and Savior. Amen!
The other part asked for a response to action in bulleted areas of ministry at the church: Administrative (ie Office Help/Phones/Typing), Hospitality (ie Greeter/Usher/Parking Posse), Physical Labor (ie Chair Set-Up/Gardening/Campus Clean-Up), Technical (ie Sound/AV/Lighting), Events (ie Decorating/Hospitality/Cooking/Clean-Up), Nursery/Children/Youth/LifeGroup Leader/Host, Visitation, and the ubiquitous Other.
As I sit writing and looking at the card I did not use, I am saddened and grieved. These are legitimate needs to be met by an organization that strives to be relevant to our present culture, but the point was missed entirely. Jesus' concern for justice in a very unjust culture was watered down, set aside, dismissed. Responding was made easy in a way that unsettles me.
I read the passage again and I let the words work discomfort that hopefully will cause action. Action on my part that is more in alignment with the issues important to Jesus.
Myron, I miss you. Thank you for taking these inspired words and doing what you could. Well done, my friend!
Tuesday, August 16, 2016
Ache
Three weeks in
it aches.
Surprised with
a heart
missing Mom.
With all
said,
done,
I expected relief.
Now
my unguarded
heat
longs for Mom
and the mother
she rarely was
but might have
been
deep
in her heart.
She was there
but could only
rarely appear
through the
thick
protective walls
hiding her
fears
her flaws.
Somehow
even
my own heart
knows
she was there.
She loved
poorly
but loved
as best
she could.
I long for
even that
as I remember
good and
difficult days
with Mom.
it aches.
Surprised with
a heart
missing Mom.
With all
said,
done,
I expected relief.
Now
my unguarded
heat
longs for Mom
and the mother
she rarely was
but might have
been
deep
in her heart.
She was there
but could only
rarely appear
through the
thick
protective walls
hiding her
fears
her flaws.
Somehow
even
my own heart
knows
she was there.
She loved
poorly
but loved
as best
she could.
I long for
even that
as I remember
good and
difficult days
with Mom.
Sunday, February 21, 2016
Missing
Quite some time ago I wrote a blog post here titled "Wandered" written from the perspective of a sheep that has wandered off from the flock and needs to be found by our Good Shepherd. It has occurred to me that there can be other forms of leaving besides just wandering off from the flock.There are those who are missing and don't think they want to be found.
On December 2, 2013 I tried to call my older sister on her birthday. Her phone went immediately to "The person you want is not available at this time". I had a funny feeling in my stomach that something was up. Carla and I didn't talk often but this had never happened. I tried to call again for several days afterwards getting the same message. Carla has always lived on the edge financially so I assumed she was unable to pay for more time for her cell phone. Nonetheless I kept trying off and on for some time.
Fast forward to May 2015, Gail and I were at my younger sister Elizabeth's house near Seattle for a visit. We talked about Carla and both assumed the same regarding her finances. A few weeks after our visit I received a call from Elizabeth. She'd called the La Crosse WI police and asked for a wellness check at Carla's address. They'd gone by and found out she had moved out in April of 2014. This past week Elizabeth called Carla's phone number again and it had been reactivated, it now belongs to someone else. Elizabeth has a few more clues so this story may not be finished, but at this point Carla Meredith Bowers Everson Sipley is missing and apparently does not want to be found.
I have thought about reasons why someone does not want to be found when they go missing. There are many reasons but in the case of my sister I believe the most plausible explanation is shame. I personally don't believe our enemy has a very big bag of tricks to keep us separated from our Heavenly Father but what tricks he has are very effective with shame being the most effective one to drive us into self-imposed exile. It clouds our judgement to the point of agonizing darkness leaving us to come to some very wrong conclusions about who we are, situations we find ourselves in and God's heart towards us when we have gone AWOL.
I think of my own journey with shame and know it has caused much destruction in my own life and has at times kept me from hearing the Good Shepherd's voice. It can define us internally to the point that we believe we are unworthy of God's attention and if He does pay attention we believe He is the line judge in some cosmic game ready to whack us with a 2X4 anytime we stray. There just isn't any grace in a life driven by shame.
We are all surrounded by people driven by shame. What should be our response to those in our personal realms? Of course we need to speak of what we know. I am reminded of the woman at the well who left her water pots and rushed back to the Samaritan village and simply told of what she knew at that point about Jesus. We often make speaking about Him too complicated. Certainly we can speak simply about His presence in our lives.
I also believe something else needs to be at play. Do we live in the abundance of life that Jesus spoke of in John 10:10? Does the manner in which we live out this relationship cause others to be thirsty for the water Jesus spoke of to the Samaritan woman that day? I believe there needs to be authenticity between our words and how we live out the love so lavishly bestowed by Abba. Often, I find myself missing this resonance between words and actions. It grieves me.
I wish I had the opportunity to talk to my sister and tell her that I care, I love her and she was important to me when I was very young. Unfortunately I doubt she would be able to hear or receive those words should the opportunity arise for that conversation.
I also believe many also don't want to hear that they are loved lavishly. They simply can't believe it and choose to remain missing.
On December 2, 2013 I tried to call my older sister on her birthday. Her phone went immediately to "The person you want is not available at this time". I had a funny feeling in my stomach that something was up. Carla and I didn't talk often but this had never happened. I tried to call again for several days afterwards getting the same message. Carla has always lived on the edge financially so I assumed she was unable to pay for more time for her cell phone. Nonetheless I kept trying off and on for some time.
Fast forward to May 2015, Gail and I were at my younger sister Elizabeth's house near Seattle for a visit. We talked about Carla and both assumed the same regarding her finances. A few weeks after our visit I received a call from Elizabeth. She'd called the La Crosse WI police and asked for a wellness check at Carla's address. They'd gone by and found out she had moved out in April of 2014. This past week Elizabeth called Carla's phone number again and it had been reactivated, it now belongs to someone else. Elizabeth has a few more clues so this story may not be finished, but at this point Carla Meredith Bowers Everson Sipley is missing and apparently does not want to be found.
I have thought about reasons why someone does not want to be found when they go missing. There are many reasons but in the case of my sister I believe the most plausible explanation is shame. I personally don't believe our enemy has a very big bag of tricks to keep us separated from our Heavenly Father but what tricks he has are very effective with shame being the most effective one to drive us into self-imposed exile. It clouds our judgement to the point of agonizing darkness leaving us to come to some very wrong conclusions about who we are, situations we find ourselves in and God's heart towards us when we have gone AWOL.
I think of my own journey with shame and know it has caused much destruction in my own life and has at times kept me from hearing the Good Shepherd's voice. It can define us internally to the point that we believe we are unworthy of God's attention and if He does pay attention we believe He is the line judge in some cosmic game ready to whack us with a 2X4 anytime we stray. There just isn't any grace in a life driven by shame.
We are all surrounded by people driven by shame. What should be our response to those in our personal realms? Of course we need to speak of what we know. I am reminded of the woman at the well who left her water pots and rushed back to the Samaritan village and simply told of what she knew at that point about Jesus. We often make speaking about Him too complicated. Certainly we can speak simply about His presence in our lives.
I also believe something else needs to be at play. Do we live in the abundance of life that Jesus spoke of in John 10:10? Does the manner in which we live out this relationship cause others to be thirsty for the water Jesus spoke of to the Samaritan woman that day? I believe there needs to be authenticity between our words and how we live out the love so lavishly bestowed by Abba. Often, I find myself missing this resonance between words and actions. It grieves me.
I wish I had the opportunity to talk to my sister and tell her that I care, I love her and she was important to me when I was very young. Unfortunately I doubt she would be able to hear or receive those words should the opportunity arise for that conversation.
I also believe many also don't want to hear that they are loved lavishly. They simply can't believe it and choose to remain missing.
Sunday, January 31, 2016
Tightrope
We've all seen it, the tightrope walker slowly making his way across the taught wire. It wasn't that long ago when Wallenda did his precarious walk across the Grand Canyon. Frankly, I didn't watch it. I can't go that long holding my breath as I am sure I would find it hard to breathe watching something like that. Of course I would breathe, but they would not be easy, relaxed breaths.
Think of the actual act of walking a tightrope. It would require years of practice balancing oneself on the thin wire. Special shoes are required along with a balance beam but those are the least of the required tools necessary for such a feat. Intense concentration is necessary as the feet, legs, body and arms all pour information into a brain that must not lapse into anything other than the cautious step by step progress across the wire. Again, years of practice is required to do such a thing.
Imagine now you are told you're next across the wire; it is required of you for some odd reason. Take a moment and think what would race through your mind if you were told you must do this. I've sat here a few moments with the cursor blinking at me trying to conjure up how this might feel. The panic I come up with is just the tip of the iceberg of responses I am sure I would have if faced with this requirement.
I recently heard this definition: SPIRITUAL FREEDOM = Walking the tightrope between license & legalism.
Again, I've let the cursor blink at me as I try to gather my thoughts, thoughts I've had off and on ever since hearing this. I am half tempted to just let this go and ask for responses from anyone who feels prompted to enter into a discussion regarding this statement.
My first gut reaction was to question the statement as being completely devoid of grace. I then started to entertain what living this way would look like. The precarious nature of this kind of life would require constant vigilance about each and every step I took. There would be no time for anything but the required vigilance if I am to enjoy this "freedom". Think of how incredibly narrow this freedom is. How does this kind of living look when laid alongside John 10:10 abundant life? I can't reconcile these two images and yet the abundant life is why Jesus came. If this is what following Jesus leads me to, then I must respond with, "Sorry, I will pass on this offer of 'life'," and look for something else.
Fortunately, I see something entirely different in the full work and ministry of Jesus. We are in Him and He is in us. For this to happen, something profound must occur in our hearts for this kind of abiding to occur. Paul tells us we are new creatures in Christ. I don't think it is understating it to put it this way, we are an entirely new species when we make the decision to let Him be our Lord. We are given a new heart. Our old, deceitful heart is changed and it becomes the dwelling place of His Spirit. Jesus told his followers He had to leave so that the Spirit would come and lead us into all truth, encourage us and be the Holy companion we will always have to live this abundant, full life. Without understanding this truth, the new heart, we are left to our own devices to figure this new life out and I can see how one might begin to think that we are led to a tightrope kind of existence.
I am also reminded of Jesus telling us the way is narrow and few will find it. This is true, to be sure, as He said we would be misunderstood and hated by this world for following Him. I believe that is what He meant by this being a narrow way, "I am the way the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father but through me" is how He explained this narrow way. One thing I have noticed about this way is that it only seems narrow when I stand at the edge and look at the things I am asked to reject. If I turn away from the edge and look at the place He has placed me I find spaciousness and peace in the grace of His full forgiveness of my past, present and future failings.
In Psalm 18 David writes of God's rescue of him from a very bad situation, Death was encircling him and he was mired in a deep pit of despair. He called out to God and God mounted an incredible rescue operation culminating in God placing David in a spacious place of safety. This notion of freedom being a tightrope offers no space and no safety.
My stated reason for writing this blog is that I am a regular guy looking for transcendence in this ordinary life. I find no room for this "looking" if I am meant to walk a tightrope teetering between license and legalism. My entire focus would need to be on that impossibly narrow cord.
Thankfully we don't have to live this way. We are people of grace. This is a life of love we've entered into, loving God with our whole hearts, minds and strengths and when we fall in love with our Creator and believe we've been made new, we can then strike out on the journey He calls us into knowing we do not live under condemnation. Sin management is no longer the goal. Rather it is believing we are a new species that can and will hear His still small voice to guide us into all life and truth. Frankly, I am skipping down the spacious road He's giving me.
Hopefully any who read this will see this as well.
Think of the actual act of walking a tightrope. It would require years of practice balancing oneself on the thin wire. Special shoes are required along with a balance beam but those are the least of the required tools necessary for such a feat. Intense concentration is necessary as the feet, legs, body and arms all pour information into a brain that must not lapse into anything other than the cautious step by step progress across the wire. Again, years of practice is required to do such a thing.
Imagine now you are told you're next across the wire; it is required of you for some odd reason. Take a moment and think what would race through your mind if you were told you must do this. I've sat here a few moments with the cursor blinking at me trying to conjure up how this might feel. The panic I come up with is just the tip of the iceberg of responses I am sure I would have if faced with this requirement.
I recently heard this definition: SPIRITUAL FREEDOM = Walking the tightrope between license & legalism.
Again, I've let the cursor blink at me as I try to gather my thoughts, thoughts I've had off and on ever since hearing this. I am half tempted to just let this go and ask for responses from anyone who feels prompted to enter into a discussion regarding this statement.
My first gut reaction was to question the statement as being completely devoid of grace. I then started to entertain what living this way would look like. The precarious nature of this kind of life would require constant vigilance about each and every step I took. There would be no time for anything but the required vigilance if I am to enjoy this "freedom". Think of how incredibly narrow this freedom is. How does this kind of living look when laid alongside John 10:10 abundant life? I can't reconcile these two images and yet the abundant life is why Jesus came. If this is what following Jesus leads me to, then I must respond with, "Sorry, I will pass on this offer of 'life'," and look for something else.
Fortunately, I see something entirely different in the full work and ministry of Jesus. We are in Him and He is in us. For this to happen, something profound must occur in our hearts for this kind of abiding to occur. Paul tells us we are new creatures in Christ. I don't think it is understating it to put it this way, we are an entirely new species when we make the decision to let Him be our Lord. We are given a new heart. Our old, deceitful heart is changed and it becomes the dwelling place of His Spirit. Jesus told his followers He had to leave so that the Spirit would come and lead us into all truth, encourage us and be the Holy companion we will always have to live this abundant, full life. Without understanding this truth, the new heart, we are left to our own devices to figure this new life out and I can see how one might begin to think that we are led to a tightrope kind of existence.
I am also reminded of Jesus telling us the way is narrow and few will find it. This is true, to be sure, as He said we would be misunderstood and hated by this world for following Him. I believe that is what He meant by this being a narrow way, "I am the way the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father but through me" is how He explained this narrow way. One thing I have noticed about this way is that it only seems narrow when I stand at the edge and look at the things I am asked to reject. If I turn away from the edge and look at the place He has placed me I find spaciousness and peace in the grace of His full forgiveness of my past, present and future failings.
In Psalm 18 David writes of God's rescue of him from a very bad situation, Death was encircling him and he was mired in a deep pit of despair. He called out to God and God mounted an incredible rescue operation culminating in God placing David in a spacious place of safety. This notion of freedom being a tightrope offers no space and no safety.
My stated reason for writing this blog is that I am a regular guy looking for transcendence in this ordinary life. I find no room for this "looking" if I am meant to walk a tightrope teetering between license and legalism. My entire focus would need to be on that impossibly narrow cord.
Thankfully we don't have to live this way. We are people of grace. This is a life of love we've entered into, loving God with our whole hearts, minds and strengths and when we fall in love with our Creator and believe we've been made new, we can then strike out on the journey He calls us into knowing we do not live under condemnation. Sin management is no longer the goal. Rather it is believing we are a new species that can and will hear His still small voice to guide us into all life and truth. Frankly, I am skipping down the spacious road He's giving me.
Hopefully any who read this will see this as well.
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