Missing

Quite some time ago I wrote a blog post here titled "Wandered" written from the perspective of a sheep that has wandered off from the flock and needs to be found by our Good Shepherd. It has occurred to me that there can be other forms of leaving besides just wandering off from the flock.There are those who are missing and don't think they want to be found.

On December 2, 2013 I tried to call my older sister on her birthday.  Her phone went immediately to "The person you want is not available at this time". I had a funny feeling in my stomach that something was up. Carla and I didn't talk often but this had never happened. I tried to call again for several days afterwards getting the same message. Carla has always lived on the edge financially so I assumed she was unable to pay for more time for her cell phone. Nonetheless I kept trying off and on for some time.

Fast forward to May 2015, Gail and I were at my younger sister Elizabeth's house near Seattle for a visit. We talked about Carla and both assumed the same regarding her finances. A few weeks after our visit I received a call from Elizabeth. She'd called the La Crosse WI police and asked for a wellness check at Carla's address. They'd gone by and found out she had moved out in April of 2014. This past week Elizabeth called Carla's phone number again and it had been reactivated, it now belongs to someone else. Elizabeth has a few more clues so this story may not be finished, but at this point Carla Meredith Bowers Everson Sipley is missing and apparently does not want to be found.

I have thought about reasons why someone does not want to be found when they go missing. There are many reasons but in the case of my sister I believe the most plausible explanation is shame. I personally don't believe our enemy has a very big bag of tricks to keep us separated from our Heavenly Father but what tricks he has are very effective with shame being the most effective one to drive us into self-imposed exile. It clouds our judgement to the point of agonizing darkness leaving us to come to some very wrong conclusions about who we are, situations we find ourselves in and God's heart towards us when we have gone AWOL.

I think of my own journey with shame and know it has caused much destruction in my own life and has at times kept me from hearing the Good Shepherd's voice. It can define us internally to the point that we believe we are unworthy of God's attention and if He does pay attention we believe He is the line judge in some cosmic game ready to whack us with a 2X4 anytime we stray. There just isn't any grace in a life driven by shame.

We are all surrounded by people driven by shame. What should be our response to those in our personal realms? Of course we need to speak of what we know. I am reminded of the woman at the well who left her water pots and rushed back to the Samaritan village and simply told of what she knew at that point about Jesus. We often make speaking about Him too complicated. Certainly we can speak simply about His presence in our lives.

I also believe something else needs to be at play.  Do we live in the abundance of life that Jesus spoke of in John 10:10? Does the manner in which we live out this relationship cause others to be thirsty for the water Jesus spoke of to the Samaritan woman that day? I believe there needs to be authenticity between our words and how we live out the love so lavishly bestowed by Abba. Often, I find myself missing this resonance between words and actions. It grieves me.

I wish I had the opportunity to talk to my sister and tell her that I care, I love her and she was important to me when I was very young. Unfortunately I doubt she would be able to hear or receive those words should the opportunity arise for that conversation.

I also believe many also don't want to hear that they are loved lavishly. They simply can't believe it and choose to remain missing.