It's Christmas Eve. I am a bit overloaded with Hallmark-Christmas-movie-sentiment though. I am tired of hearing that family is what this time of the year is all about. I've watched more than my share of Christmas themed shows this season and have heard it over and over again. Don't get me wrong, I am looking forward to the family that will gather at my home tomorrow. It is a joy to get together but I have grown weary of so much focus on that aspect of Christmas at the expense of "the" event that is overlooked in a culture that is too politically correct to call this season what it is, a celebration of the birth of Jesus.
As this day has drawn closer I've spent some time reflecting on the accounts we have of His birth. We gravitate to Matthew and Luke's accounts with the poignant details of the birth in a barn attended to by only Joseph and Mary. Lowly shepherds are the only ones who receive an announcement and they heed the request to find the baby laying in a manger in swaddling clothes. How appropriate that these men of low class status are the ones angelically confronted by the birth, after all, He came for the outcast. He came as a shepherd for lost sheep. I have been captured once again by the simplicity, joy and mystery of Incarnate God, Emmanuel. The whole village of Bethlehem missed it, I will not. What must have Joseph and Mary thought when those shepherds showed up telling their story of angels declaring the birth. I will not miss this.
I've wandered around though in John's account. He didn't write much of the detail of those days but simply mentions, "The Word became flesh". I've placed this simple phrase in the midst of Matthew and Luke's account. The very Word made flesh is stunning if you think about it. God comes not as a book or a set of principles to study, to know, to practice but as a baby, to grow to be a man, to be known in relationship. He is not to be known primarily as a theological experiment to be tested but as a man to be known.
I am often reminded of some of His last words, "Lo, I am with you always", and then He left. Certainly He meant His presence to mean something other than what we normally think. Access to His presence, knowing Him, is an exercise of faith, an acknowledgement that we are not highly evolved animals but we are created to be spiritual beings as well as fleshly beings. Jesus coming to be fully man and fully God, the mystery of Incarnation, tells me I will never be fully human without exercising the faith to unlock the mystery of knowing this man who said He would never leave me, this man who started life as a human being in a manger, born in a barn, visited by lowly shepherds.
Saturday, December 24, 2011
Tuesday, November 1, 2011
Feast Re-Visited
There are moments I hear, we hear the whispered question, "Who do you think you are"? It is a hard question tinged with accusation, a hard question meant to undercut the path Abba may be leading us on. It may sound like a whisper out of our own consciousness but it is not. If we are not careful we will buy into the deprecation and dismissal lurking about answering with memories of our own personal failures, our times of sinful willfulness.
That is not the holy answer the question requires. A question worth posing in response is "Who am I, in Christ?" Chosen, a royal priest, a son of the most High, seated with Christ at the right and of God, called to do holy work; these are responses to remember, to recite, to know. Answers that satisfy.
The feast that day satisfied. Those that partook had their fill; it was no little snack to ward off slightly the hunger pangs that crowd felt. Their hunger that day drove them to eat their fill, an honest hunger that could not be ignored. Are you hungry enough to partake your fill of Jesus? He said to some of those folk the next day that they were to eat His flesh, drink His blood. This was a hard teaching that drove many away who had been following after Him. They couldn't get past the shocking metaphor, but we can, we need to if we are honest about our own hunger.
He asked His twelve who He'd sent into a storm if they would also leave Him. Peter voiced their response, a response of an honest hunger,"Lord, to whom shall we go? You have the words of eternal life. We believe and know that you are the Holy One of God. So I ask, are you hungry? When the question arises, "Who do you think you are?", how will you answer?
That is not the holy answer the question requires. A question worth posing in response is "Who am I, in Christ?" Chosen, a royal priest, a son of the most High, seated with Christ at the right and of God, called to do holy work; these are responses to remember, to recite, to know. Answers that satisfy.
The feast that day satisfied. Those that partook had their fill; it was no little snack to ward off slightly the hunger pangs that crowd felt. Their hunger that day drove them to eat their fill, an honest hunger that could not be ignored. Are you hungry enough to partake your fill of Jesus? He said to some of those folk the next day that they were to eat His flesh, drink His blood. This was a hard teaching that drove many away who had been following after Him. They couldn't get past the shocking metaphor, but we can, we need to if we are honest about our own hunger.
He asked His twelve who He'd sent into a storm if they would also leave Him. Peter voiced their response, a response of an honest hunger,"Lord, to whom shall we go? You have the words of eternal life. We believe and know that you are the Holy One of God. So I ask, are you hungry? When the question arises, "Who do you think you are?", how will you answer?
Monday, October 31, 2011
Feast
I recently spent a bit of time looking into the feast for 5000 men as found in the four gospels. It reminded me of a few years back, something I'd begun to write while looking at the account in John.
Here is what I've written:
Imagine that you are an invited guest for a dinner. You enter the host's home, a comfortable one but not ostentatious. There are about 30 people, young and old milling about in conversation. Finally the host invites everyone to come into the family room/kitchen.... a great room designed for easy living. There is an island in the kitchen and there is the "spread" of food. A small roast beef has been sliced into perhaps 10 or 12 slices, a bowl of mashed potatoes matching in size to the roast, a gravy boat with rich brown gravy accompanies the potatoes, a bowl of green beans with a pat of butter melting over the beans and a basket with perhaps a half dozen dinner rolls peek out from under a red cloth; enough for a family of four or five.
One glance at everyone else's eyes confirms what you are thinking; this guy did not plan well, there is not enough food and everyone is hungry. The host bows his head and begins to pray but all you can think of is how do you gracefully get out of this situation, how do you help maintain this man's dignity by acting like you really aren't hungry. You think of the Taco Bell you passed six miles back and hope the drive-thru window stays open late. Suddenly your thoughts are interrupted by the end of the host's prayer, "....and thank you Heavenly Father for your bounteous gift of food that we are about to partake of. Amen". And then he adds, "Dig in everyone, take all you want." You want to laugh out loud because to your eyes a bite or two of meat, tablespoon of potatoes, five green beans, a meager drizzle of gravy and a shared roll with five other guests is all each will receive this night and you can only hear your hunger.
Suddenly a young boy of 8 or 10 says, "Well, what are we waiting for, I'm hungry". He takes a plate, forks three slices of meat onto his plate, adds two very large dollops of potatoes, a heaping pile of green beans (you're thinking here "What boy eats green beans without cajoling by a dutiful mother), pours gravy over everything and adds an entire roll atop the plate. His innocent hunger has driven him to not understand he must mentally divide out what is before him by the number of diners and take only that portion. All eyes watch the boy carefully find a place at a nearby table, generously butter the roll and scoop a big bite of gravied mashed potatoes into his mouth.
"What do we do now" you think as your eyes turn back to the woeful spread that has been depleted ungraciously by the boy. You decide to follow his lead but will set a more moderate tone. Just as you pick up your plate with the intent of slicing off a meager bite of beef your eyes are opened and suddenly there is more than you thought at the buffet. Had your eyes deceived you at first look of the buffet? How could there possibly be more food when a moment before there was so little. You look around and see that you are the only one who sees this. For some reason you are seeing something others can't see. You follow the boy’s faithful lead and fill your plate with a tiny giggle playing on the corner of your mind. There really is more at this feast than first believed. You just needed to enter into the meal to see it.
I think it was a little bit like that for those folks that day. There was no reason for them to believe there would be enough food for all but they took what they wanted nonetheless, they entered in with the eyes of faith they needed because they were driven by hunger. Unfortunately when the hunger was abated and they were back in Capernaum, they no longer could hear or see the feast that was before them in the person of Jesus.
Here is what I've written:
Imagine that you are an invited guest for a dinner. You enter the host's home, a comfortable one but not ostentatious. There are about 30 people, young and old milling about in conversation. Finally the host invites everyone to come into the family room/kitchen.... a great room designed for easy living. There is an island in the kitchen and there is the "spread" of food. A small roast beef has been sliced into perhaps 10 or 12 slices, a bowl of mashed potatoes matching in size to the roast, a gravy boat with rich brown gravy accompanies the potatoes, a bowl of green beans with a pat of butter melting over the beans and a basket with perhaps a half dozen dinner rolls peek out from under a red cloth; enough for a family of four or five.
One glance at everyone else's eyes confirms what you are thinking; this guy did not plan well, there is not enough food and everyone is hungry. The host bows his head and begins to pray but all you can think of is how do you gracefully get out of this situation, how do you help maintain this man's dignity by acting like you really aren't hungry. You think of the Taco Bell you passed six miles back and hope the drive-thru window stays open late. Suddenly your thoughts are interrupted by the end of the host's prayer, "....and thank you Heavenly Father for your bounteous gift of food that we are about to partake of. Amen". And then he adds, "Dig in everyone, take all you want." You want to laugh out loud because to your eyes a bite or two of meat, tablespoon of potatoes, five green beans, a meager drizzle of gravy and a shared roll with five other guests is all each will receive this night and you can only hear your hunger.
Suddenly a young boy of 8 or 10 says, "Well, what are we waiting for, I'm hungry". He takes a plate, forks three slices of meat onto his plate, adds two very large dollops of potatoes, a heaping pile of green beans (you're thinking here "What boy eats green beans without cajoling by a dutiful mother), pours gravy over everything and adds an entire roll atop the plate. His innocent hunger has driven him to not understand he must mentally divide out what is before him by the number of diners and take only that portion. All eyes watch the boy carefully find a place at a nearby table, generously butter the roll and scoop a big bite of gravied mashed potatoes into his mouth.
"What do we do now" you think as your eyes turn back to the woeful spread that has been depleted ungraciously by the boy. You decide to follow his lead but will set a more moderate tone. Just as you pick up your plate with the intent of slicing off a meager bite of beef your eyes are opened and suddenly there is more than you thought at the buffet. Had your eyes deceived you at first look of the buffet? How could there possibly be more food when a moment before there was so little. You look around and see that you are the only one who sees this. For some reason you are seeing something others can't see. You follow the boy’s faithful lead and fill your plate with a tiny giggle playing on the corner of your mind. There really is more at this feast than first believed. You just needed to enter into the meal to see it.
I think it was a little bit like that for those folks that day. There was no reason for them to believe there would be enough food for all but they took what they wanted nonetheless, they entered in with the eyes of faith they needed because they were driven by hunger. Unfortunately when the hunger was abated and they were back in Capernaum, they no longer could hear or see the feast that was before them in the person of Jesus.
Monday, October 10, 2011
Humility
I recently heard some words regarding humility that have stirred up some thoughts. The idea expressed was we needed to be less to become more. It was in the context of biblical leadership from I Peter 5. While I believe true servanthood that follows the Jesus way involves "the first shall be last and the last shall be first", I believe this reflects more a model of Christ-like leadership rather than true humility. I strongly believe that leadership, at the heart, is servanthood.
Humility is not about the spotlight, or the receiving of praise. I think it is fairly obvious we can be doing the most noble, worthy action for the Kingdom but if our underlying goal is to appear righteous, to appear "less", then we've missed the mark. I am a bit concerned with the phrase because the stated goal is to become more by becoming less. It seems a bit like a type of hampster wheel that leads to nowhere. Less is more, less is more, less is more. It begins to sound like a squeak in the hampster wheel when the hampster if furiously trying to get somewhere.
I am more comfortable with a quote I came across several years ago from Phillips Brooks that describes humility: "The true way to be humble is not to stoop until you are smaller than yourself but to stand at your real height against some higher nature that will show what the real smallness of your greatness is."
I like this because it allows us to stand fully upright in all we've been created to be. Jesus said early on in Matthew 5 "You are light..... You are salt..." For us to effectively advance His Kingdom we need to operate fully as He says we are. To do less robs Him of His glory, the glory of His creation and incarnation in us.
I also like the quote because of the direct implication of standing fully against God'd fullness. By doing this we begin to see how true our smallness is and an un-manufactured humility will arise as we keep that picture in mind.
I have this quote printed underneath a meaningful picture hanging in my office at work. It is a photograph of three individuals, mere specs walking up a field with the backdrop of a huge Colorado ridge rising behind them. Those three men, one of which was me, could not walk effectively if they were trying to be small. They simply are small against the glory of God-spoken creation. No false humility is needed when one stands fully as created by God, against God Himself.
Humility is not about the spotlight, or the receiving of praise. I think it is fairly obvious we can be doing the most noble, worthy action for the Kingdom but if our underlying goal is to appear righteous, to appear "less", then we've missed the mark. I am a bit concerned with the phrase because the stated goal is to become more by becoming less. It seems a bit like a type of hampster wheel that leads to nowhere. Less is more, less is more, less is more. It begins to sound like a squeak in the hampster wheel when the hampster if furiously trying to get somewhere.
I am more comfortable with a quote I came across several years ago from Phillips Brooks that describes humility: "The true way to be humble is not to stoop until you are smaller than yourself but to stand at your real height against some higher nature that will show what the real smallness of your greatness is."
I like this because it allows us to stand fully upright in all we've been created to be. Jesus said early on in Matthew 5 "You are light..... You are salt..." For us to effectively advance His Kingdom we need to operate fully as He says we are. To do less robs Him of His glory, the glory of His creation and incarnation in us.
I also like the quote because of the direct implication of standing fully against God'd fullness. By doing this we begin to see how true our smallness is and an un-manufactured humility will arise as we keep that picture in mind.
I have this quote printed underneath a meaningful picture hanging in my office at work. It is a photograph of three individuals, mere specs walking up a field with the backdrop of a huge Colorado ridge rising behind them. Those three men, one of which was me, could not walk effectively if they were trying to be small. They simply are small against the glory of God-spoken creation. No false humility is needed when one stands fully as created by God, against God Himself.
Monday, September 26, 2011
Narrow
I've not given up my slow meander in I Corinthians, in fact, I've written three times my thoughts out of the last section of the first chapter. I just haven't yet posted them here. My intent was to do this tonight but something has disrupted me. It began yesterday in church, continued this morning during my "park" time as I journaled and than culminated tonight as I was washing the holybluemazdapickup with the desire to post what I wrote this morning here.
The "narrow way" talk by my Pastor yesterday has opened up a vista for me that I can hardly fathom. My thoughts here are not what he spoke about. I don't want to mislead any here. I simply began to see some of what was spoken of yesterday with a new perspective. Yes, if we view the choice Jesus describes between the highway of destruction and the narrow way of following Him through the only eyes we have at the beginning, the eyes of our flesh, it appears as He says. The apparent choice to deny our flesh, saying "No" at times, is hard and one needs to consider this choice carefully in the initial steps upon the narrow way. There will also be many times upon the journey one must once again consider the choices presented, times where the narrow way seems more difficult than expected, our flesh will cry out in rebellion and our enemy will entice with seducements that can seem too overwhelming to ignore. There will also be times one makes detours off the narrow way eventually hitting the myriad of dead-ends the highway only offers. At those times Jesus' words, "Lo I am with you always" will arise and one may repent of poor decisions made. Our elder brother will be there bidding us lovingly back to the true journey of our hearts in Him.
At some point in the journey one may come to realize how wide the "narrow" way is for our hearts, who we truly are. We will see how many wide, spacious places there are along the way in which we thrive; we can live in a way never offered in the bondage that is the highway of destruction. I think it is at these points we see the paradox in Jesus' words describing the two paths, the twinkle in His eye when we understand that things are not as they initially appeared to be. When viewed through the eyes and needs of our heart awakened by the Holy Spirit at our second birth, we see it is not a narrow way at all. There is a freedom in His grace for living the life He offers. A life marked by what the world really is hungry for; joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self control. Those on the highway, enslaved in it's true narrowness of bondage, need to see Jesus in us who follow Him. His offer was LIFE. Do we represent His life well, in a manner that invites others to His life?
I've become weary of those who have grown sour, who have not found Jesus' grace along the way, but only see the road as a set of rules and regulations to attempt to keep. Often I've found pride in those who think they have succeeded in seeing and living out of narrowness without finding the wideness in His grace, the easy yoke He spoke of. Often they see Abba Father only as a line judge ready to whack us when we stray. Yes, correction is needed and I've experienced this at times, but I do believe we do Him a grave disservice if we only see Him standing by with a 2"X4" ready to whack us whenever we stray. This is not the Father I've come to know on the narrow way that is not.
It is sad to see some so encumbered by their own attempts at developing and maintaining their own sense of personal holiness. It is not ours we are clothed with but Jesus'; His redemption, His wisdom, His holiness offered freely by a loving God-head who states emphatically that we are in Him, He is in us. It is in that perspective we find the wideness of the "narrow" way.
Jesus, may I lean on You at those times when the narrowness presses in, when I can only move forward by keeping my eyes upon You. May I see the wideness You have for my heart as I traverse this path. May I remember well the bondage and dead-ends offered by the highway when I am tempted. Amen.
The "narrow way" talk by my Pastor yesterday has opened up a vista for me that I can hardly fathom. My thoughts here are not what he spoke about. I don't want to mislead any here. I simply began to see some of what was spoken of yesterday with a new perspective. Yes, if we view the choice Jesus describes between the highway of destruction and the narrow way of following Him through the only eyes we have at the beginning, the eyes of our flesh, it appears as He says. The apparent choice to deny our flesh, saying "No" at times, is hard and one needs to consider this choice carefully in the initial steps upon the narrow way. There will also be many times upon the journey one must once again consider the choices presented, times where the narrow way seems more difficult than expected, our flesh will cry out in rebellion and our enemy will entice with seducements that can seem too overwhelming to ignore. There will also be times one makes detours off the narrow way eventually hitting the myriad of dead-ends the highway only offers. At those times Jesus' words, "Lo I am with you always" will arise and one may repent of poor decisions made. Our elder brother will be there bidding us lovingly back to the true journey of our hearts in Him.
At some point in the journey one may come to realize how wide the "narrow" way is for our hearts, who we truly are. We will see how many wide, spacious places there are along the way in which we thrive; we can live in a way never offered in the bondage that is the highway of destruction. I think it is at these points we see the paradox in Jesus' words describing the two paths, the twinkle in His eye when we understand that things are not as they initially appeared to be. When viewed through the eyes and needs of our heart awakened by the Holy Spirit at our second birth, we see it is not a narrow way at all. There is a freedom in His grace for living the life He offers. A life marked by what the world really is hungry for; joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self control. Those on the highway, enslaved in it's true narrowness of bondage, need to see Jesus in us who follow Him. His offer was LIFE. Do we represent His life well, in a manner that invites others to His life?
I've become weary of those who have grown sour, who have not found Jesus' grace along the way, but only see the road as a set of rules and regulations to attempt to keep. Often I've found pride in those who think they have succeeded in seeing and living out of narrowness without finding the wideness in His grace, the easy yoke He spoke of. Often they see Abba Father only as a line judge ready to whack us when we stray. Yes, correction is needed and I've experienced this at times, but I do believe we do Him a grave disservice if we only see Him standing by with a 2"X4" ready to whack us whenever we stray. This is not the Father I've come to know on the narrow way that is not.
It is sad to see some so encumbered by their own attempts at developing and maintaining their own sense of personal holiness. It is not ours we are clothed with but Jesus'; His redemption, His wisdom, His holiness offered freely by a loving God-head who states emphatically that we are in Him, He is in us. It is in that perspective we find the wideness of the "narrow" way.
Jesus, may I lean on You at those times when the narrowness presses in, when I can only move forward by keeping my eyes upon You. May I see the wideness You have for my heart as I traverse this path. May I remember well the bondage and dead-ends offered by the highway when I am tempted. Amen.
Thursday, July 14, 2011
Laughter
Last Saturday I picked up a book at the library, PONTOON by Garrison Keillor. I didn't know why I was drawn to it. I've read a few of his other books and always enjoyed his gift of storytelling. It is one of his Lake Wobegon tales. Slow moving and peopled with quirkiness from that mythical town.
I lit a cigar - about a two hour one - and decided to finish the tale. It had moved slowly, as his stories often do, meandering through people's ordinary lives but it wound down to a hysterical conclusion, an ending I won't attempt to recapture. I laughed as I've not laughed in a very long time; side splitting, tears running down my face laughter.
The laughter cleared the pipes out leaving me at a point of peace. I closed the book, glanced up and saw the full moon reflected in a window on the backside of our home. I got up to watch it complete its rise above our virginia-creeper clothed garden shed.
Bathed in the moonlight, I suddenly knew what a marvelous gift laughter is from Abba's hand. A taste of our God-imageness; something that offers healing for our seemingly endless brokenness.
I lit a cigar - about a two hour one - and decided to finish the tale. It had moved slowly, as his stories often do, meandering through people's ordinary lives but it wound down to a hysterical conclusion, an ending I won't attempt to recapture. I laughed as I've not laughed in a very long time; side splitting, tears running down my face laughter.
The laughter cleared the pipes out leaving me at a point of peace. I closed the book, glanced up and saw the full moon reflected in a window on the backside of our home. I got up to watch it complete its rise above our virginia-creeper clothed garden shed.
Bathed in the moonlight, I suddenly knew what a marvelous gift laughter is from Abba's hand. A taste of our God-imageness; something that offers healing for our seemingly endless brokenness.
Tuesday, July 12, 2011
Corinth #3
WARNING I am going to quote someone here verbatim using a word some might not like, I just thought I'd give you a "heads-up" in case you need it.
Yesterday there was an archery tournament taking place in the park at the archery range some distance across from me. Of course at 5:40am when I arrived perhaps there were only a couple of people there overlooking and keeping guard over the grounds but it was exciting to see the line of official targets, the international flags, portable pavilions and tents all colorfully fluttering in the breeze. Then, as the participants and spectators began to gather, I could feel the anticipation roll in along with each car. It was a nice change to the normally sedate scene I view most mornings. It was a temporary community that gathered.
Today all was back to normal except for the line-up of brown plastic porta-potties; I am sure by the end of today they will also be gone. It was a bit sad. There was something in the air yesterday as the competitive community gathered, a lightness and hope.
Community, in whatever guise, offers an intangible dimension to life. We are social creations bent on establishing community. Whether its a gathering of staid, pious Episcopalians or a raucous, profane and occasionally violent group of Hell's Angels, it is, I believe, the same thing - a group where one belongs with a sense of "fit", a vantage point or boundary that declares "I am in" and conversely "You are not". Even in the park I see fragments of community among the homeless who either camp in the green underbrush or simply pass through.
Several months ago three homeless men gathered around an adjacent picnic table to the one I occupied. It was during the many weeks that the north side of this American-River-straddling park was flooded. Their options of a picnic table were limited, otherwise I doubt they would have gathered so close to me. Their proximity gave me the opportunity to overhear a bit of the conversation between them. At one point one said, "Here, I'm going to put the lighter in the middle of the table so any of us can use it without having to ask for it and all that shit".
The words and the action of giving up control of something precious has stuck with me for several months. I keep wondering if we do the same with Jesus, easily give up control of this precious gift of Light and Life or if we rather try to control by defining theological positions; positions others must hold for us to know if they are "in" or "out". In reading the early chapters of I Corinthians I believe Paul is touching on this in addressing divisions in that community of believers. "My brothers and sisters, some from Chloe’s household have informed me that there are quarrels among you. What I mean is this: One of you says, “I follow Paul”; another, “I follow Apollos”; another, “I follow Cephas”; still another, “I follow Christ.”" (I Cor. 1:11-12). This leads me to the sad commentary that we have not strayed far from divisive attitudes, have not strayed far from drawing theological lines in the sand in our attempt to control.
Paul continued this theme in I Cor. 3: 2-4, "I gave you milk, not solid food, for you were not yet ready for it. Indeed, you are still not ready. You are still worldly. For since there is jealousy and quarreling among you, are you not worldly? Are you not acting like mere humans? For when one says, “I follow Paul,” and another, “I follow Apollos,” are you not mere human beings?". It would seem from what he says here that this sort of attitude, "I am of _______, and you are of _______" (you fill in the blanks with your particular persons) is more a sign of immaturity than anything else. The outcome of the theological drawing of lines in the sand all too often becomes a sad and needless division between Christ followers.
I am not saying there shouldn't be clear distinctions. These should center around who Jesus is; incarnate God, the only begotten Son, born of a virgin, died a sacrificial death to reconcile the whole world to God, defeated death by His death and resurrection, ascended in glorious triumph over the prince of darkness and will one day (unknown to all - even Himself) return to rule.
After these foundational truths I'm finding a grace and latitude as I walk and converse with others who hold and practice our mutual faith in Him differently than I do. I've come to a deep, deep trust in the Spirit who moves amongst us to lead me and others into all truth. That is not to say we won't have disagreement, but I would hope that we could conduct ourselves in the midst of those times in a manner that does not diminish or dismiss or exclude; the attitude of "I am of Apollos, I am of Peter, I am of Paul" that so often divides.
I no longer believe I have to control the Light and LIfe offered by Jesus. The community built on grace, a community of colorful flags and tents and pavilions fluttering in the breeze of the Spirit, is not about control.
Yesterday there was an archery tournament taking place in the park at the archery range some distance across from me. Of course at 5:40am when I arrived perhaps there were only a couple of people there overlooking and keeping guard over the grounds but it was exciting to see the line of official targets, the international flags, portable pavilions and tents all colorfully fluttering in the breeze. Then, as the participants and spectators began to gather, I could feel the anticipation roll in along with each car. It was a nice change to the normally sedate scene I view most mornings. It was a temporary community that gathered.
Today all was back to normal except for the line-up of brown plastic porta-potties; I am sure by the end of today they will also be gone. It was a bit sad. There was something in the air yesterday as the competitive community gathered, a lightness and hope.
Community, in whatever guise, offers an intangible dimension to life. We are social creations bent on establishing community. Whether its a gathering of staid, pious Episcopalians or a raucous, profane and occasionally violent group of Hell's Angels, it is, I believe, the same thing - a group where one belongs with a sense of "fit", a vantage point or boundary that declares "I am in" and conversely "You are not". Even in the park I see fragments of community among the homeless who either camp in the green underbrush or simply pass through.
Several months ago three homeless men gathered around an adjacent picnic table to the one I occupied. It was during the many weeks that the north side of this American-River-straddling park was flooded. Their options of a picnic table were limited, otherwise I doubt they would have gathered so close to me. Their proximity gave me the opportunity to overhear a bit of the conversation between them. At one point one said, "Here, I'm going to put the lighter in the middle of the table so any of us can use it without having to ask for it and all that shit".
The words and the action of giving up control of something precious has stuck with me for several months. I keep wondering if we do the same with Jesus, easily give up control of this precious gift of Light and Life or if we rather try to control by defining theological positions; positions others must hold for us to know if they are "in" or "out". In reading the early chapters of I Corinthians I believe Paul is touching on this in addressing divisions in that community of believers. "My brothers and sisters, some from Chloe’s household have informed me that there are quarrels among you. What I mean is this: One of you says, “I follow Paul”; another, “I follow Apollos”; another, “I follow Cephas”; still another, “I follow Christ.”" (I Cor. 1:11-12). This leads me to the sad commentary that we have not strayed far from divisive attitudes, have not strayed far from drawing theological lines in the sand in our attempt to control.
Paul continued this theme in I Cor. 3: 2-4, "I gave you milk, not solid food, for you were not yet ready for it. Indeed, you are still not ready. You are still worldly. For since there is jealousy and quarreling among you, are you not worldly? Are you not acting like mere humans? For when one says, “I follow Paul,” and another, “I follow Apollos,” are you not mere human beings?". It would seem from what he says here that this sort of attitude, "I am of _______, and you are of _______" (you fill in the blanks with your particular persons) is more a sign of immaturity than anything else. The outcome of the theological drawing of lines in the sand all too often becomes a sad and needless division between Christ followers.
I am not saying there shouldn't be clear distinctions. These should center around who Jesus is; incarnate God, the only begotten Son, born of a virgin, died a sacrificial death to reconcile the whole world to God, defeated death by His death and resurrection, ascended in glorious triumph over the prince of darkness and will one day (unknown to all - even Himself) return to rule.
After these foundational truths I'm finding a grace and latitude as I walk and converse with others who hold and practice our mutual faith in Him differently than I do. I've come to a deep, deep trust in the Spirit who moves amongst us to lead me and others into all truth. That is not to say we won't have disagreement, but I would hope that we could conduct ourselves in the midst of those times in a manner that does not diminish or dismiss or exclude; the attitude of "I am of Apollos, I am of Peter, I am of Paul" that so often divides.
I no longer believe I have to control the Light and LIfe offered by Jesus. The community built on grace, a community of colorful flags and tents and pavilions fluttering in the breeze of the Spirit, is not about control.
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