Fear

Sacramento is on the Pacific flyway so there are a fair number of Canadian geese that flock in the park I frequent in the mornings. Lately there are fewer and fewer, they are moving northward. This morning a goose flapped awkwardly into a cottonwood tree right next to where I was. It sat looking desolately for easy flight out but apparently couldn't find it. I could "fear" it out by climbing the tree but is that the proper role of a more powerful being? Do we infringe on another with fear even if for it's own good? The goose's mate, after looking up at the tree for some time, joined and the two sat squawking noisily to each other. They will work it out, I am sure.

My 30 year sojourn with depression and despair created in me a core of anger. My family learned quickly how to navigate around that elephant in the room as if walking on eggshells. Having walked out of that prison cell, the depression and despair have dissipated and my anger has been answered by Abba's kind hand. But I still see vestiges of my family's coping mechanisims. Fear of me was a poor way to live for all of us. Happily, this dynamic has changed but I've thought some about this dynamic in relation to walking with Holy Abba.

What place does fear have in our walk with Him? How long can fear sustain a relationship? Does a relationship started in fear move to something more enfolding of our complete heart? Can we come to know His heart if we don't move out of fear? Fear. I do wonder if our language is not precise enough to convey what is biblical fear. I don't have an answer regarding the precise meaning of the word as used in Scripture and that is not where I am going today with this. Perhaps later I will, though.

How might God feel about us continuing in fear of Him, always creeping around Him as if on eggshells? One of the events of that day of Galgotha gives me a hint; the veil was torn, top to bottom. The significance of that tearing can not be underplayed. The Holy of Holies is thrown open, wide open. Jesus' words that day, spoken to a fellow sufferer on a cross are words for us as well.

Today.... with me.... in paradise.