Identity

I can't seem to get away from the issue of identity lately.

I am not thinking about my name, although there is a bit of a story there and we all know what it means to hear our name called out; someone wants our attention, wants to tell us something, wants us for some reason. Often, it is good to hear our name, sometimes, not so much.

What I am thinking about is identity, who we think and believe we are, and who we really are. I am also pondering why this issue, above most others, is the one area our enemy assaults more often then other areas. In fact, I am fast coming to the belief any assault on us will eventually zero in on our identity.

I think we develop our beliefs about who we are, identity, in our family of origin. As a parent of adults I am humbled by the power I had to help my two children develop in this area. I would like to report I was intentional about this important part of parenting, frankly I wasn't. We had dinner last night with our two children. Our daughter treated us all to celebrate an important promotion/milestone in her career. It was a good night and I am blessed by the two adults that call me "Dad".

No matter how any of us were parented, we came away with a fractured view of who we are. I think many of us came away from our families so fractured that an identity overhaul was necessary if we were to get along in life. Some of us turn to career, some to therapy, some to ceaseless activity. All these endeavors will only be marginally successful in redeeming our identity.

At the core of our identity, if we are to hold to a biblical view, is our heart. We are told it is the well spring of life and should be guarded at all costs. It is the center of who we are whether we are followers of Jesus or we are not.

As a Jesus follower, I believe a large part of the full work accomplished through his death, resurrection and ascension is the giving of a new heart, a heart of flesh, for those who submit their lives to His lordship. Paul is telling us this when he writes that we are new creatures in Christ. Another writer I enjoy, Frank Viola, states we are a new species. If you stop to think about that idea, it might just rock your world.

John Eldredge, in his book, The Sacred Romance, outlines an ascension of identities moving from Clay in the potter's hands to Sheep to Servants to Children to Friends to finally, Beloved. I won't cite here his full quote, it's lengthy but powerful. You can find it on page 96 if you are so inclined. The point is, there are many layers to this new identity we receive at our second births. John's view is that we ascend through these to the final identity of Beloved. I think there is truth to this but there are times I must return back to Clay in God's hands when confronted with some things that come my way. All of these identities are important at various times in our lives.

The ultimate identity of Beloved is the one singular identity our enemy is after though. When we finally begin to believe from our core that we are Beloved in the Trinity's sight, so much of who we are and who we are meant to be falls into place. Pieces of the puzzle of who we are snap into their appointed places and potential clarity is offered. It is not easy to finally arrive at the point of deep belief in our status of Beloved and few truly get to that level. It's easier to think of ourselves as Sheep, Children or Friends of God. Belovedness carries a lot of weight that sometimes we aren't prepared to live with. BELOVED is what He calls us, though.

The assault on this identity sometimes comes at our own hands when sin arrives, as it always will. We listen to the voice, either our own, patterned by years of use, or the enemy's voice of accusation. The voice tells us that if we truly are Beloved, we would not do what we've just done. Sometimes we are reluctant to enter into confession and repentance thinking if we wallow in the guilt for a while we will be "cured" of our propensity towards the sin. Of course this is just one more lie we either tell ourselves or we listen to. Guilt-wallowing will do nothing to cure what only Grace can cure. We must always come back to Abba and His Grace when sin enters the realm of our identity.

There are times though, when we are trapped by something and we are in need of another Grace, the Grace of God's people, brothers and sisters who will listen and help us, who may need to come and gently correct and restore our shattered sense of identity.

It is this function, this activity I turn to now; the function we may offer to others of being a part of the royal priesthood of believers. How best may we come alongside a dear one who may be trapped in something too powerful for them to overcome without the Body of Christ coming alongside? At the core of this ministry is gentleness, a gentleness born out of humility, a humility born out of the notion we too may get caught in something too large for us to handle on our own.

It is a ministry of seeing, seeing what is going on; a ministry of listening, hearing what our friend is going through in all its details; a ministry of wisdom, taking care of what is said; a ministry of reconciliation, helping our weak brother to find their footing once again as a Beloved one. Anytime we are prompted to come alongside we need to be very careful in how we approach our friend. Care must be taken to not do violence to our brother.  Let me say this again, care must be taken to not do violence to our brother.

How could we possibly do violence at this point?  There are many ways and unfortunately I have seen this happen often. It occurs when we don't take the time to think carefully about how our weak friend may respond. What will be our strategy if they completely reject us with anger? It also happens when we are so convinced of an issue that we don't really listen well to how our weak friend found themselves in a point of bondage. It also occurs when we do violence to God's identity already bestowed on our weak brother.

At first glance this idea of violence may seem an overstatement, but Jesus made this last point when talking about murder in the Sermon on the Mount. He tells us that when we call a brother "Raca" (most translate this to mean "idiot") we have committed murder, we have done violence to God's identity for our brother.

In coming alongside a weak brother, we need to always be careful to address what we have observed in our friend's behavior, what have we seen that gives us cause for concern. Approaching from this point of view hopefully may open up dialog that will reveal what has trapped our friend; conversation that will give deeper insight into what is going on and what other factors, unknown to us, have brought our friend to needing some help. Wisdom then may flow into the conversation as the Spirit in us and the Spirit in our brother find common ground on which help and strength may be found.

The violence occurs when we jump ahead too quickly and begin to rename our friend's identity, often an identity that runs counter to who God has already called our friend. We must always remember our weak brother is still Beloved. Anything offered in the way of identity that does not support the core of Belovedness does violence to our brother and will probably shut the hoped for conversation of help down in anger.

As mentioned above, Paul tells us to go to another with gentleness because we too may fall into sin and need the ministry of "coming along side". I don't think he necessarily meant we may fall into the same sin our weaker brother has fallen into. What I do think he means is that if we do violence against the identity of our weak brother, we too may find ourselves being treated with the same sin of violence against our identity in Christ.

Belovedness must be guarded at all costs. It has been bestowed at a great cost by Abba, and is the source from which all wholeness flows. It is a wholeness we all crave and hunger for since we are all broken and in need of wholeness.

The ministry of "coming along side" demands care, wisdom and above all, God's love flowing through us to one in need.