Murphy

It is a beautiful day here in Sacramento, 80 degrees with a great breeze. I spent the better part of the day getting our trailer ready for a week in Tahoe. We leave two weeks from today and the trailer had several things that needed some work. Both my wife and I are ready for that week in the mountains.

So now I am out front. I have a small table with two chairs in our small covered porch. This is where I do nearly all my thinking and reading when I am home. Last January I spent a ton of time out here writing a play for Good Friday. It was about 40 hours of writing and editing. I am always outside here with my dog Murphy.

Generally he's a pretty good dog. He's part shitz-hu and yorkshire terrier. He knows my evening rhythm very well and when he senses I might be going out front he gets very excited. Some evenings he will sit and stare at me and then whine a little if it doesn't look like I am going out front. Sometimes I have to tell him, "No, I am not going out". He seems to understand me and will dejectedly lay down but often he just sits and stares at me.

His dual breeding gives him an odd heart. Yorkshire terriers can be a little territorial. His feisty bark is sounded whenever he thinks something is going on that he thinks we need to attend to. It gets a bit annoying at times. In addition, he does not like other dogs so whenever I have him outside with me I keep him on a lead to keep him in our yard. If he sees a dog he wants to confront them no matter the size. Terriers have ferocious hearts, I think.

The shitz-hu in him means he has to get on my lap on a regular basis whenever I am outside. Try typing on a computer with a dog in your lap! It can get complicated. I will often let him up as I pause to think. Even a short stay on my lap will satisfy him for a while, but eventually he just "has" to get back on my lap and he makes the need known by putting his two front legs on my leg and whines, batting his big brown eyes with their massively long eyelashes. It usually works and I let him jump back onto my lap for a time.

Right now he is contentedly sitting at my feet, but I am sure his heart will send the signal, I need to sit on his lap.

This need has often caused me to think of my own heart and what it needs. We protestants have done a good job of nourishing our minds with good preaching and study. Many books have been written to nourish this aspect of living with God along with the explosion of podcasts that can often help us to think through our theology. This is all good, but I do wonder if we have neglected the heart.

What do we really long for? Longings rise from our hearts. Murphy longs for the comfort of my lap. What do I long for? Most who follow my sporadic ramblings here know my early morning habit of time before work in a park with God. That habit began in 2005 when I realized I did not understand my heart. I engaged in an email conversation with a young man, Ryan Cadwell, asking him how I might come to know my heart. He told me to spend time with Father. Now, being the good protestant that I am, I wanted the steps, there had to be a process I could think through to get to the point where I understood the good heart Father had given me. Ryan just kept telling me to spend time with Father. Frankly, it felt, at the time, like he was asking me to nail jello to a wall. But I did do as he suggested.

Fast forward 13 years and I am amazed at all that Father has done in helping me understand how central, how incredibly vital it is that we who claim to follow Jesus pay attention to our hearts, learning to lean in to Father's heart to help us live more deeply alongside Him. Without engaging our hearts, it is impossible to grow, be transformed.

For four Tuesday evenings I, along with three others, will be leading a series of classes titled "Heart Habits". Study, Meditation, Solitude, Silence, Fasting, Prayer, Worship, Community and Celebration are the topics we are hoping to cover. Honestly, it still feels daunting, there is so much to be said and I truly want to cover these topics well, leading people into a deeper walk with Jesus.

But I come back to Murphy and his need to be on my lap. I've often thought about this in regards to me sitting on Father's lap. I really need this as well. In my musings surrounding the parable of the Prodigal Sons (yes, there are two prodigal sons) I've wondered if there wasn't some point when the son who'd left and squandered himself with riotous living didn't need to sit on his father's lap and simply be loved. I've also wondered if the son who'd remained and was driven by self-righteousness also didn't need the same when he came to his senses - I think he might have at some point.

I remember as a little boy sitting in my father's lap while he would read the paper. My heart still wants that comfort. The heart habits of solitude and silence for me often are my times of sitting in God's lap, letting Him whisper words of comfort. It is something our hearts need from time to time.

This is the lesson I've learned from my dog Murphy and am often reminded of my need for "lap time" whenever he insists its time to sit on my lap.