Refuge

This has been a tiring season - not the holidays just past, the season of caregiving I've found myself in. On December 3rd my 87 year old mother fell in her home and suffered several compression fractures of her spine and a fractured elbow. After two hospital stays and a couple of weeks in a convalescent hospital she was released to go home on December 29th.

My mother is a difficult person. I am the middle child of three widely spaced children, my older sister was 16 when my younger sister was born and I am smack dab in the middle. I learned the safest place in our emotionally charged home was to retreat, be as invisible as possible, stay under mom's radar and shield myself at all times. It became second nature.

As I've grown older I learned (perhaps too slowly) to let much of those coping mechanisms fall by the wayside except whenever I am in my mom's presence. The problem now is with mom's pressing needs in recovery, I am with her very often. Due to geography and other factors, my wife and I are the only family members available to deal with mom's pressing needs. I've resurrected much of the old coping mechanisms and I've found myself very tired from the effort. Tired in all aspects; physical, mental, emotional and spiritual. I need a place of refuge.

There are many passages in Scripture Abba could use to offer refuge. My mind easily goes to many of them but He has led me to the passage in Ephesians 6 - the armor of God. Often in these days I have intentionally put them on as Paul instructs Christ-followers to do: belt of truth, breastplate of righteousness, feet fitted with the gospel of peace, helmet of salvation, shield of faith, sword of His word.

As I have done this I have found refuge, a place to rest. Until this season of caregiving, I'd only thought of this armor as pieces associated with the warfare we are all in as Christ-followers. While this is still true, the idea of "refuge" had escaped me. Think of it though, what better refuge than to be clothed with Christ? What better way to be clothed than with His armor? Every piece of it is Christ's, provided for our protection, tailor made to fit perfectly for our needs. Each piece fits me perfectly and is not a burden. They are, in some sense, part of the easy yoke Jesus spoke of in Matthew 11:28 & 29. I have found rest as I loosen my grip on old coping mechanisms and put on Christ.