Mom Part Two

I was a little surprised at the response to my previous post here regarding my mother. Thank you all for your kind words and some stories I've heard regarding your own relationship with your mothers.

Mom was discharged Friday and is home. She is still weak and we've found someone who can help her with the things she will need done for her. We are hoping her strength will increase enough for her to make the trek to the dining room where her meals are served.

Friday evening we received word that my father-in-law was being hospitalized.  Frankly it feels like my mother and Gail's father are in a race to the end.

Both Gail and I are spent.  I can't remember feeling so tired after doing so little.  I've slept some this weekend but am still just dragging.  We are empty.

Emptiness is something we Christ followers try to avoid thinking something is wrong, after all Christ is to be our sufficiency, right?  We feel guilty, like we are disconnected from Him in some way and therefore are empty. We see the disconnect only and try to fix it with the usual fixes, prayer, scripture, church attendance, involvement.

I am finding in my empty state a consolation with Christ. Were there not times as recorded in scripture that He needed to be alone? Did He not feel the emptiness that sometimes assails us as we travel through difficult life experiences? The consolation of His presence in these days is one of simply sitting with Him in the emptiness.  I don't even have the strength to try to fill it.

That lack of strength has brought about a deeper dependence upon Him, a dependence I would not experience if I still had the strength to try to re-arrange my emptiness to make it look more acceptable to my own harsh way of self-evaluation.

I am again, still in a very odd oasis.